I'm unsure of this phenomenon. It's like writer's block, only it's my life. There is so much that I need to do, and so much that I want to do, and it seems that something inside of me just shuts down. It hasn't been a bad day. I've done some rather productive things. I watched a lecture by Muhammad Yunus on microlending, I listened to podcasts about Buddhism in the modern world, and about the psychology of websites, and about the standoff between the East and the West, and even one about the Afrikaaner community in Sydney. And I made a rather nifty sign for my door that says, in Ancient Egyptian hieroglyphs: "Come, companions. Dancers, come. Come in peace to me." Which is definitely awesome.
And yet, so much remains undone. I struggled for hours to get my Statement of Purpose started for Austin. This should be easy. It's an essay on why I am amazing. I have a lot to say about that, actually. But somehow, the words just weren't coming.
I finally gave in to this strange stagnation and decided that I must just be burned out. I nearly killed myself last semester trying to get caught up on Egyptian, and now, I am. And it's not over. Nothing is over. Of course, nothing ever IS over. But I haven't been giving myself the chance to refresh, relax, reboot. There has been nothing but work, or guilt over not doing work, or dread of up coming work. And that can't be what a life is for.
So, finally, I decided to just let go, and deal. So I did. Meditated for a while, chatted with my aunt, read the news. Finally, I went upstairs and watched Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil with Koos. So now, though tomorrow starts again bright and early, I'm feeling a bit more relaxed.
Koos and I have been dating for three months, as of today (17th.)
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