Déja, Déja, Déja Vu, Believe It and It Will Come True

I've decided my Buddha dream was telling me I'm on the right path in life.

Then today I went to the library and read Tales from Margaritaville.   It's funny, because I've given this book to a few people as presents, but I've never read it myself.  But Tyler sent it to me not too long ago, telling me he thought I was meant to have it. So I read it.  And he was right.

Tales from Margaritaville is a series of short stories written by Jimmy Buffett, one of my favorite singer, song writers.  I love his music, because he sings about life on the beach, in the Carribean, free from worry.  I read the whole book!  Some of the stories brought tears to my eyes, not because they were so sad, or even moving, but because they reminded me of a major part of myself.  At heart I'm an islander, and the Caribbean is in my soul.  No escaping that.  And reading through these stories made me yearn for the sands, and the salt, and the sunlight.  Not the touristy bits, and not just the pure joy of relaxing, it made me miss real life, sorrow and pain mixed in with the joys.  Reading these stories, I looked around and wondered who else in this country could understand the draw of the Deep South and of the islands. 

One of the stories talked about the six rules of living.  It was talking about life in the music world, but I think it fits.  So I've decided to write them here, with a slight change to the first rule, to fit my own personal beliefs.

Lesson One:  There are always enemies.  (Originally:  They are always the enemy.)

Lesson Two: Just remember, assholes are born that way, and they usually don't change.

Lesson Three: You do not want to go to jail.

Lesson Four: When you start to take this job seriously, you're in trouble.

Lesson Five: It takes no more time to see the good side of life than it takes to see the bad.

Lesson Six: If you decide to run with the ball, just count on fumbling and getting the shit knocked out of you a lot, but never forget how much fun it is just to be able to run with the ball.

Amen to that, Jimmy.  Amen to that.

I've also rediscovered what I want to do.  I have figured out my destiny.  What I want to become:  "A writer of fiction living on the beach."

Silvia and I went to Janos' around 8 and met Gonzalo (Chile) and the four of us ate some amazing spicy Hungarian cabbage soup, and drank Glühwein and Port and talked about it all.  I won't see Silvia again before she leaves.  She says she may be back in January, and definitely in February.  I hope so, because I'll miss her!  She gave me the little pixie statue in the picture, because we saw him in a shop, and I loved him.  I think he'll become my writing muse!  :-)

A Song to Mithras

Mithras, God of the Morning, the trumpets waken the Wall!

Rome is above the Nations, but Thou art over all!

Now as the names are answered, and the guards are marched away

Mithras, also a soldier, give us strength for the day!

Mithras, God of the Noontide, the heather swims in the heat,

Our helmets scorch our foreheads; our sandals burn our feet.

Now in the ungirt hour; now ere we blink and drowse,

Mithras, also a soldier, keep us true to our vows!

Mithras, God of the Sunset, low on the Western main,

Thou descending immortal, immortal to rise again!

Now when the watch is ended, now when the wine is drawn,

Mithras, also a soldier, keep us pure till the dawn!

Mithras, God of the Midnight, here where the great bull dies,

Look on Thy children in darkness, Oh take our sacrifice!

Many roads Thou hast fashioned; all of them lead to the Light,

Mithras, also a solider, teach us to die aright!

--Rudyard Kipling

Amsterdam

Happy Yalda everyone!  I'm sitting smack dab in the middle of this longest night, and I'm surrounded by candles, and lights, and warmth and life is good.

I spent much of the day packing and cleaning, and running around trying to think of a present for my sister-in-law.  

Silvia and I went to Amsterdam around 3 so I could get some wooden shoes.  Mom insisted they be nice, and wearable too!  I got some size 37s  (7) and they take up a HUGE portion of my suitcase!  The stupid thing now weighs a ton!

After buying shoes, Silvia showed me where to find a bookstore Jan suggested that sells English books for only €5!!  I didn't buy anything.  This time....  Afterwards, Silvia and I found a really nice café and had some appeltaart and koffie.  Amsterdam is a pretty nice town.

Then I came home and packed, and cleaned, and that has been my night.

Lolpod:  In the café there was a cat on a shelf above the bar, and Silvia and I could NOT decide if it was real or not!  Finally, he woke up and looked at us sleepily for a while, and then licked his paws, and went back to sleep.  Crazy!  :-D

Weird Moment:  I told you all about my dream of Buddha?  The one where the stones formed his face?  Well, I didn't mention what his face looked like, because it was a bit confusing.  There were six stones, arranged into two rows of three. The first two stones were his eye, the second two were his nose and mouth, and the third two were his ears.  It was strange because he didn't have another eye, and his ear seemed too big.  

Tonight, I was in a book shop in Amsterdam when I just stopped in my tracks.  There, on a high shelf, was a Buddha who, though not made of stone, had the face of my Buddha!  It wasn't the exact face, of course, but more like a rough drawing of it!  I almost fell over!  I took a picture ---->

I guess I should read this comic....

Viva Hollandia!

I had the most amazing dream last night.  I was sitting on a stone bench, in a candle lit room.  On the wall were six stone blocks, and as I stared at them, I realized they combined to form the face of the Buddha in a very complex and subtle way.  It was easy to miss.  I was filled with the most profound sense of calm I believe I've ever experienced, and in the dream I pulled my brown scarf over my head and curled my feet underneath myself and just stared at the Buddha in amazement and joy.

This dream was, I think, the only reason that I didn't freak out  during my exam.  I failed it, and I know it.  This isn't one of those "Oh, I didn't do so great, I probably got a B-" sort of "failed"  this is a "Even if every question I answered was correct, it will not be enough to save me" sort of FAILED.  With authority.  It was interesting though, because after I had decided there was nothing much to be done about the exam, I had a great time doing the translations.  I spent most of the exam time planning my strategies for the make-up exam in March.  There were plenty of others in my class who said they'd probably see me in March.  Sigh.  

But my dream.  Can't get too upset with the perfect face of the Buddha smiling serenely at you in your dreams!

I came home and destroyed my room.  I pulled all my clothes out of the closet and my baskets, and organized them into keep, take home, and throw away (I only throw away clothes when they get major holes, so I have some pretty ancient articles.)  I also organized all my X-mas presents.  Did I go shopping today?  You know I suppose I did.  I'm so tired, I can't remember exactly anymore.  Either way, I have tons of presents, and I can't wait to pass them out!  :-)

At 5 I met with Aiste, Daniele, Claudia, Michele, and Alberto (all Italians, except Aiste, who's from Lithuania) and we got hot chocolate and chatted. It was a really nice afternoon, though the dark room with the dancing candles, and the hot chocolate sort of put us all to sleep.

I came home a few hours later, and watched Memoirs of a Geisha on YouTube while I organized.  The movie is good, but sort of disappointing compared to the book.  I suppose it's more that's it's disappointing compared to my imagination.  The kimono in my head were much more breathtaking than the kimono on screen.  The movie stuck to the book really well, and I didn't much mind the changes. They made sense, and didn't take anything way.  

I think I would have made one heck of a geisha.  I think I was simply born too late and on the wrong continent.  Perhaps in a past life.  Or a future one.

Around midnight I trucked over to Cafe d'Ub for the final ISN-I party.  It was a blast.  The music was great, and I danced with about a zillion people.  There was a stage, with a pole, and, no I didn't dance on it, but my neighbor did!  She's been taking "pole fitness" at the gym here!  I danced with one guy for a while, and after the song was over, he kissed my hand and disappeared! haha!  I can't express how great it felt to dance again.  I was in the back corner of the stage for a long time, so it meant no one could see me (except the DJ, who looked SO much like Jan, it was really confusing) which meant I got to let go in a way to don't get to much here. 

Dancing where I'm from is different from dancing here.  Or rather, the dance culture I come from is different from the club scene dance culture.  I'm a Lindy Hopper, and we understand dance and sexuality in VERY VERY different ways from club dancers.  Truth is, even though the way I dance (sort of a hip-hop belly dance) could be considered provoking with all the hip movements etc. I don't dance for anyone but myself.  Even when I'm performing, it's about, me and the music.  People are just there to give me their energy.  They can take mine if they want, but I'm not there to seduce them.  This is why dancing in the corner was so very freeing.  No one could see, and yet I was surrounded by people and their dancing energies.

Now I'm home, and tired.  Also, I have the hiccoughs.  :-5

Simh:  Viva Hollandia -- Wolter Kroes

Sleepy in Lodi

I'm tired.  No rest quite yet.  Final exam tomorrow.  Must keep going.

I woke up this morning and just fell back into bed again.  This tiredness is in my bones somehow.  I think the exhaustion of the semester is finally catching up.  Miles to go before I sleep.

I read a bit of Memiors to wake up slowly.  I did manage to pull myself from bed and go shopping.  I had some luck, and got some really nice things.  A few strokes of genius, a few huge question marks.  X-mas would be much more fun if I didn't have to carry everything with me.

I've been reading so much of Memoirs of a Geisha, that I'm thinking in the style of the book now.  Today I rather felt like a geisha.  The book describes how the geisha jump from tea house to tea house entertaining and never letting on how tired they are.  That was me tonight.  

We had our final ISN-R meeting, which turned out to not be a meeting at all, but rather a surprise going away party for me!  These girls are entirely too great!  They bought me a big chocolate cake, and made a collage of pictures of me and my friends from various events!  :-D  It was really the perfect gift!  It even has our logo on it!  :-P  I do wish I could stay on, but I'm going to help out however I can.  These girls are so great!

After that I biked furiously to a Pancake House (Dutch Geisha visit pancake houses, not tea houses) for the Egyptologist dinner/André's going away party.  They had already eaten, it was time for dessert, and I realized that all I had eaten all day was two muffins and a slice of cake.  I very nearly passed out at the table!  I ordered some bread and butter, and survived, and we all had a nice time.

After that I biked home and went over to Silva's for pizza.  Silvia has an oven, and made pizza for me, Jason and Janos.  It was quite the relaxing evening (despite the conversation about psycho-killers and the Devil) and the pizza was great.  Veggie pizza (with nice salty olives, yum!) and wine, (one sweet, one woody) candles and Christmas lights, and Credence Clear Water playing in the background.  I very much enjoy these people. 

Now I'm so tired I'm literally typing with my eyes closed (a talent I have) and contemplating sleeping on the floor.  But no.  Tomorrow's exam awaits.  I'm just too brain dead to really truly have the energy to be concerned.  I suppose I'll just have to ask the Egyptian god of hieroglyphs to lend me a hand.  Or prepare to take it again in March.  C'est la vie, man.

Simh: Lodi - Creedence Clearwater Revival

Just about a year ago, I set out on the road

Seeking my fame and fortune, looking for a pot of gold.

Things got bad, and things got worse, I guess you will know the tune

Oh Lord, I'm stuck in Lodi again.

Rode in on a Greyhound, I'll be walking out if I go

I was just passing though, must be seven months or more

Ran out of time and money, looks like they took my friends

Oh Lord, I'm stuck in Lodi again.

If only I had a dollar, for every song I've sung

And every time I've had to play while people sat there drunk

You know, I'd catch the next train back to where I live

Oh Lord, I'm stuck in Lodi again.

I've Been Lost, But That's All Over Now

Today's picture of the day comes fromwww.Coraline.com.  Coraline is a children's book written by Neil Gaiman about a girl (Coraline) who enters an Other world where her Other Mother and Other Father are ready to take care of her forever.  You just have to have buttons sewn in for eyes and you can stay forever, too.  And ever.  It's a delightfully creepy book, and they're turning it into a movie.  Which means the website is cool.  Want to create your Other Self?  Go to the Other Mother's Workshop and button your eyes.

Today has been quite a strange one for emotions.  I woke up at 10 (which was physically painful from lack of sleep) and made fried apples for Julia's train ride.  I  helped her get the last of her stuff packed.  Silvia came over and we headed off to the station where we met with Ilaria and Janos.  To say goodbye!  :-(  We waved white handkerchiefs (ok, kleenex) as her train pulled away.  

Walking away from the station, the sun came out and shone, with a force I haven't experienced in months.  I closed my eyes (partially due to the glare, but partially just to soak it all in) and walked with Silvia and thought about how great it has been and will be to know the people I know.

Silvia and I then went to the Catwalk (a café) and ate blueberry bagels with bananas and honey, and drank cinnamon coffee with whip cream.  It was such an amazing brunch, and the two of us were in such a great mood!  I don't know why.  Our best friend just got on a train and left us.  I guess the sun opened up something in us.  Or maybe Julia just reminded us that soon enough we'll be leaving Leiden too. Better enjoy the people and the place while you can!

So we went shopping!  :-P  I got a gift for Jan (although the woman at the shop was so rude, I almost left) and some candy for my family, and for Susanne and Vanessa (I've given it to them already, so I can say that) and some super top secret Other gifts (though not with buttons on) whose nature I cannot reveal at this time.  I also FINALLY got some shoes that I think will make some decent Wushu shoes (shushushu) for only €10.  I saw some really cute boots, but they only had them in Silvia's size.  So she bought them!  :-D  

After a fabulously exhausting day with Silvia, I came home and puttered about, and at five I met up with Susanne and Vanessa for dinner.  We went to an Eritrean restaurant!  Argh.  So good!  I got a pile of lentils and the most amazing mix of veggies ever.  The girls ordered a mix of meats.  My policy on meat is, I don't eat it unless 1) it will offend the cook or be a nuisance if I don't, 2) I'm craving it (which generally means my body needs something it can give me.  Note: this is rare, maybe once or twice a year.) or 3) it's in a traditional dish that I've never tried before.  This fell into the 3rd category, so I tried it, but instead of getting a piece of meat, I got a huge hunk of bone.  Which I took as a sign, and happily went back to my veggies.  

We drank coconut flavored beer out of coconut shells!  Best thing ever?  Possibly.

We stayed there until 9 chatting, in German, which was nice on lots of levels.  We have plans to meet again after the holidays for more African food, and Feuerzangbowle!  (For my non-German pals, Feuerzangbowle is a hot mixture of spiced wine and rum.  A huge cone of sugar is set on fire above it, and the molten sugar drips in.  It's also a movie, and every German has seen it entirely too many times.  Sometimes they act it out, like Rocky Horror, but I don't know how common this is.  Either way, we're going to watch the movie, and drink spiced-molten-sugar-wine-rum!)  

I came home.  But not for long.  I read a bit of Memoirs, but then I was gone again.  To Einstein.  I found Jan, and we chatted with Giovanni and a few others.  Then we talked about books.  He had a book of Poe in his pocket.  We are dorks.  But what else is there to talk about in a bar, anyway?  He had to leave early though, since he has to finish a paper and pack to leave for Rome in the morning.  I stayed behind to say goodbye to people I might never see again.  Unfortunately, they weren't there.  Giovanni, who will be here next semester, left for another party, and I was alone.  No problem, there were tons of people there.  Problem, I didn't know any of them!  Wild!  Oh well.  

On the way home I took a million pictures of the street.  The trees are decorated, and they reflect off the canal, and it's breathtaking.  I live in this town that is so beautiful.  I'm feeling pretty good today. 

Though every time I walk by Julia's hallway I feel an empty spot somewhere in my throat.  I expect to see her shoes in the hall, or maybe run into her.  But she's gone.  It's ok though, because I always fill in that empty spot just by thinking about her.  Quite a woman.  :-)

Lolpod:  A guy rode by me on a bike wearing a purple blanket (with reindeer on it) like a cape.

Song In My Head (Simh): I Don't Know What They Wanted Me To Say -- Mickey Newberry

My friends all tell me how much I've changed

I tell them nothing stays the same

They just smile and walk away

I don't know what they wanted me to say

I've been up and I've been down

Turned on, turned out, been turned around

I've been lost but that's all over now

Hope remains and only God knows how.

This Isn't Actually the Weekend

I totally thought yesterday was Friday.  I still sort of to.  It wasn't.  It was Tuesday.  It was a great day.

I woke up and read Memoiors of a Geisha.  Ilaria let me borrow it on Monday night, and by noon yesterday I was half-way through it.  It's a pretty interesting book, though I think much of its appeal comes from learning about a culture.

Around noon I went down to help Julia pack.  Which meant we made tea and talked.  Silvia came by and we made apple pancakes and more vanilla tea and chatted and giggled some more.

Around three we met with Ilaria and went shopping.  Since the shops close around here by 5, we didn't get a lot accomplished, but we still had a great time. 

We split up and then met again at my apartment, plus Jason, and Ilaria made some AWESOME veggie tofu curry, and we drank some wine and had a grand time.  Then we met up with Janos, and went to Roebels, the "Russian" bar in town.  (It has a lot of pictures of Soviet guys on the wall.  But there's an Egyptian hunting scene in the hall next to the bathroom.  I translated it.  Can't escape.)  We had entirely too much fun taking pictures and playing with candles and dancing.  We danced so much, and everyone just stared at us.  None of the Dutch people moved, they just drank their beers, and watched us all dance.  :-)

Around 2am Julia, Silvia and I went to Janos' and drank port wine and ate fried bananas and discussed wildly interesting things like how to say your feet have fallen asleep in various languages (They go to sleep in German too.  In Italian they get covered in ants, and in Hungarian they turn into cats, for some reason.)  I do have some vague recollection of a serious conversation about something amazingly interesting, but I was drifting off into a very sweet sleep, and so, I don't remember.

I'm going to wait to tell you about today until it's over.  Because, even though it's lasted all day, it's not over yet.  Stay tuned.

In Other News

This is my grey streak, filled with static energy, trying to run away.

No, what I meant to say is, I realized why my room has been so cold.  I knew there was an issue with my window, but I thought there was just a little crack at the bottom.  Nope, the entire window is always open about an inch.  Yep.  

So I stuffed every dish cloth I had, which is a lot, into the crack and covered the entire window with a scarf, and it's now much warmer in here. 

That is all.

Legally Dutch! Possibly Egyptian as Well! Also, Fog!

I am officially a legal Dutch resident!  Clap clap clap clap.  Thank you, thank you.  I went to Rijswijk today and picked up my Residence Permit, and now, I can stay!  Whoo!  My photo is pretty great.  I look like an elf.

I also possibly passed my Egyptian exam!  A premature, but hopeful whoo!  I didn't sleep at all thinking about it, and when I did sleep, I woke up an hour early worrying!  I don't think you realize how certain I was of total failure.  Again, think of taking a 3rd year Spanish exam from what you know from Sesame street!  

I got to the exam and had a total panic attack.  I looked at the first page, which was EASY, and couldn't breathe. The first page wasn't even Egyptian.  It was the "essay" questions,which only required a paragraph of answer!  And they were SO EASY.  Like, "Explain the Egyptian Funeral" (this is one of the first things you learn as an Egyptologist) and "What is the Dating of the Tomb of Khesu-Wer and How Did Silverman Determine It?"  which would have been difficult, except I took careful notes and knew EXACTLY how Silverman came to the 11th-12th Dynasty (titles, offering lists and Spell 579, thanks.)

Instead of getting up and running straight from the room to the train station (to buy a ticket to Rome, which is seriously ALMOST what I did) I took a deep breath, and looked at the hieroglyphs.  At first it was all Greek (heh, sorry) but slowly all the little hands and birds formed into recognizable words, and sentences were born.  I don't think I did very well on this exam, but by Thoth, I might just have passed!  (Seshat willing, of course.)

After all the hubub of passing Egyptian and becoming more Dutch-like, I went to the library and read more Lord of the Rings.  Frodo has just left the Shire, my friends.  What's next?!  There came a knocking on the window.  Julia!  She was just lucky that Tolkien was just describing landscape, or I might not have noticed.  :-)  We went for a quick walk to find a present for her sister, and then decided to do dinner and a movie.

Met up at 7 and made some roti (Surinamese dish) and drank Chocolate Chai Tea and chatted.  At 9 we met with Ilaria and went to see Quantum of Solace.  Or Quantum Solace.  Or whatever it's called.  The new James Bond.  At first I was like, meh.  Too much action, too much violence, where's the freakin charm?  Then, I settled in, and they did some really cool stuff with Puccini, and it got pretty good.

Typical action flick though.  Everyone fought their own bad guys and inner demons, and all the women were attractive.  Someone apparently decided not enough broken glass has made its way into action films though, and decided to change that.  Phew.

We came out of the theater and the entire world was covered in fog.  Quite beautiful!  It's only the second time I've seen fog here.  The first time, I was inspired to write a book.  :-)

The fog comes in

On little cat feet

It sits looking

Over harbor and city

On silent haunches

And then moves on.

--Fog by Carl Sandburg

90% of True Love is Acute, Ear Burning Embarassment

A new angle on things.  I moved my desk around, and my photo now includes my ladder.  I wish the lights had been on!  :-)

I'm getting to be rather boring, but I'm enjoying life more.  I slept until noon today, which I rather hate doing.  But it comes from staying up until almost 3am!  

I spent the next few hours in the library.  I read the rest of Wyrd Sisters.  If you don't know Terry Pratchett, you must go read his work.  Must happen.  Only in English though, no translations allowed.  Sorry, but word play is too important.  Pratchett takes culture and twists it around into new and brilliant plots.  Wyrd Sisters is a spin on Shakespeare.  Buh-rilliant.  The books are absolutely hilarious.  They're pretty amazing and hilarious even if you don't get the references.  Go now.  Read.

I also jumped into The Lord of the Rings.  I read them once as a child, and once again when the movies came out, but it's been a while.  And Jan is always talking about them. Not to mention Tim.  So, I thought, why not check it out again.  It's amazing how quickly you can forget.  I guess that's the best part of books, really.  You read, you forget, and you get to read again!   I only made it through the second chapter before the library closed.  

So I came home and read The Importance of Being Earnest.  I know, I know.  I'm a dork.  Once a bookworm, always a bookworm.  I'm not ashamed.

Though I did manage to get out into normal society for a while!  I went to Janos' house to watch The Truman Show with a bunch of his friends.  A few people I knew.  Good times.  Good movie.  I had forgotten it.  I can totally relate to Truman.  

Drank linden tea with lavender honey.  

Tomorrow is my exam.  Le sigh.  I'm not looking forward to this next week at all.  So much to do, and so little motivation.  It's cold, even in my room, and I really really just want to curl up with a good book and/or a good friend and/or my computer and drink warm drinks and eat chocolate (and put on some more winter fat to keep me warm!) and ignore the slow, dark winter outside my window.  

For now, I'm going to turn on my Solstice lights and watch Moonlight, and make some vervaine tea, and work on the story about a cursed princess whose name I haven't yet learned, and pray to whatever gods are in charge of Egyptian language and low stress days.  

Do you think about me

Every now and then?

Do I ever cross your mind?

You know it sounds like Old Man Winter's

Thrown his fiddle in the wind.

You know I need 

A good friend here tonight.

-- from Saint Cecelia, by Mickey Newberry

Pumpkins and Gin

It was a sunny day, so I took a spin through the market.  I went by my favorite second hand stuff store, and bought a few candles and a little traveling case.  Like a mini awesome suitcase.  Then I spent my day in the library.

I looked again at the book sale, though I didn't find anything I couldn't live without.  Then I browsed the books, and finally decided on a Terry Pratchett book, Wyrd Sisters.  Uh-mazing, though I'm not surprised in the least.  I love that man.

I noticed that everyone kept smiling at me.  I found it sort of odd.  People would pass me in the street, or come up to my table to get a magazine, and they would look at me and smile.  This is rather strange here, where people tend to just ignore you unless you are physically touching them.  And then I realized.  Today I wore a long skirt and tall boots, a baggy blue sweater, a turquoise and green and blue scarf and a green fedora, and I carried around a mini-suitcase and read a book called Wyrd Sisters and laughed out loud in the library.  People thought I was quirky!  I was a quirky girl who wears too many colors, carries around strange things frequents the library and reads all day.  Um...am.  I am that girl.  People were smiling at me because they think I'm weird!  Though I suppose it's worth it to get a smile out of these people.

The sun set, as it does, and I realized I'm getting almost more comfortable with night than with day.  It's like daytime is too uncertain, I know it's going to go away, and I can at least be sure that it's going to stay dark for a while.

I came home and made a rather amazing dinner of rice and (soy) chicken.  And I watched American Gangster, which is quite a good movie.  I also read An Ideal Husband by Oscar Wilde.  This is possibly one of my top 10 favorite movies, and the play was just as good.  I'm unabashedly in love with Lord Goring.

Later on I met Julia and Janos and two of Julia's friends (Ellie and Leah, I think, both from Germany.)  We had a great time, drinking Jenever (Dutch alcohol flavored with juniper from which gin is derived) and talking about dreams and life in America vs Europe.  It was really quite an amazing night.  

And now, as they apparently say in Hungary, the bear has spit, and the pajamas have launched and, as we say, it's pumpkin time, and if I don't get to bed I'll turn into a pumpkin.  :-)

Rapper's Delight

Hair cut, 80s-style?!  Or Me Being A Goofball?!  You decide!

So, in Thursday's post I complained a tiny bit about how I just wasn't able to write anything.  Well, I think my Muse must have felt sort of sorry for me, because I got smacked in the face with inspiration and two pages just fell out of my hands.  It was quite the rush.  I couldn't stop writing, but I didn't know the story!  My mother always told me that stories are given to you, and I completely understand.  I have NO clue where this story came from.  It's dark, and strange and  I seriously didn't know what was going to happen next.  I still don't!

I was up until 3am because of my Muse, and talking to Tyler about our various arts anyway.  He and I are planning a photo shoot when I'm around, and we're having ENTIRELY too much fun with planning.  Also:  Mike is too gorgeous for words.

Ok, you caught me, I'm just being a goofball in the photo above.  I'm listening to NPR Playback where they play radio casts from 25 years ago (1983, baby.)  This is amazing. I'm currently listening to casts from November 1983.  They're talking about this new genre of music called "Rap" and a new technology called "cellular phones".  Yes.

So, yesterday it snowed at home.  Mom sent me some photos of our house and yard covered in white.  I've never seen more snow in our yard!  It was a blizzard!  Ok, it was only a few inches, but still, for home it was quite a blizzard.  

I went back to the Public library and attempted to study for a few hours.  I made a few more note cards and learned some more vocab.  But looking at the huge stack of texts that I'm supposed to know, I realized that I'm almost certainly going to fail this exam.  I just don't know this stuff well enough.  I've had a year of Egyptian, but truthfully, it wasn't a great class, and I didn't really learn very much.  So, this is, practically, my first year of this stuff, and I'm attempting to pass a third year class.  Try taking a third year Spanish course and passing the exam with just the knowledge you've gained from watching Sesame Street!

So, even though I'm hopeful about Monday's exam, I'm not going to be too upset if I do, in fact, fail.  I can retake it in March, so there's no need to get as upset about it as I was getting.  

After a few hours of Egyptian, I switched back to writing, and continued to learn about my strange and dark character, whose name I still don't know.  The story is told in her voice, and I find it so very fitting, since she's literally talking to me.  I'm just the scribe.

After the library closed, I borrowed Julia's bike (my back tire is flat, and I'm considering buying her bike anyway) and attempted to head to the Duwo building for a dinner party.  The bike was way too big for me, so I had to practice getting on and off of it without dying.  It was a rather terrifying trip!

Duwo is scary.  It's located outside of town, and even though 600 students live there, it's silent, and empty.  I joined up with my friends at Cindy's house.  My party crowd has become Jan, Walter and Kia.  If I'm at a party, I'm almost certainly with these three boys.  :-)  Cindy's house was FILLED with people.  There was an American (from Alabama, of all places), a British guy and I think three Dutch people, a man from Sudan, a Surinamese woman, and a zillion Indonesian girls.  The Indonesian girls made TONS AND TONS of amazing amazing Indonesian food, and we had an amazing feast.  So much food, so much Wonderfully tasty food!

It was a really wonderful party.  We sat and talked and talked about EVERY thing from global warming to arranged marriage to, and I'm not making this up, midget tossing (which is apparently a sport in this ridiculous country...and I thought Zwarte Piet was bad....)  We laughed so hard we cried, and we even sat in silence for 5 min just to see who would break first.

At 2:30am, Jan and Walter and I mounted up and rode through the FUH-REEZING full-moon lit night.  I just love these boys.  Jan wants to link our novels, which I find just too cool.  In his third book, his main character descends into the underworld, and he wants him to see Janie leading someone.  :-)

Wow, what a long post. :-)

The glories of the Universe

Say, Yeah

Run

Everyday, every time you got to run

Too much fuss to much stress where is the fun?

We want peace and unity so why a gun?

So many cloudy days we need more sun

A brighter day

A beacon of the way

Sadness and sorrow, you've got to let them go

When people say (no no no)

I really want to say (yeah yeah yeah)

When you feel low (low low low)

Wait for a brighter day (day day day)

Run 

Life is short my friend so why we run

If you hurry too much there is no fun

Stop the violence people, put down your gun

You see faces shining like the sun

A brighter day

A beacon of the way

Sadness and sorrow you got to let them go

When people say (no no no)

I really want to say (yeah yeah yeah)

When you feel low (low low low)

Wait for a brighter day (day day day)

Thanks, Universe, I needed that.

Semester Over

At last.  My classes for the semester are over!  Today has been rather dull.  Last Egyptian class, then I sat in the Public Library with Silvia all day and read a ton of articles about Egyptian funerary texts.  I found it pretty amazing.  Then mastaba class, and back to the library where I was considering doing more work, but I think I might just read instead.

The semester is over, but I still have two exams, a project and two papers to write.  No rest for the weary.

I'm frustrated though, because all I really want to do is write, but when I sit down to do it nothing comes out the way it should.  Such is the life of a writer, I suppose.  My story is going well, and I even have an outline for the entire first half.  But, the actual writing is slow.  C'est la vie, I suppose.

In related news, there's a debate going on over at Neil Gaiman's Blog about freedom of speech and fighting for the right of speech you don't really agree with, and I find it all rather interesting.  And sort of scary.  You may have  to do a bit of scrolling, but, well, Gaiman is pretty interesting anyway.  

That's where I found this -->

Ok, after I saved this, I discovered there was a book sale at the selfsame library in which I had set up camp. Soooo, I bought a bunch of books.  

My haul: 

• Boeken van de Goden I: Ouverture (Books of the Gods I: Overtures: Collection of fantasy short stories in Dutch by Dutch fantasy writers!  Cool!)
  
• Ver Voorbij het Diepe Woud (Beyond the Deepwood: A children's book, also in Dutch, also about fantasy stuff.  Fairies and trolls, and all sorts of cool forest spirits.)
• Heksen en Heksenprocessen (Witches and Witch Trials: A history of witch trials.  In Dutch!)
• Midsummer Night's Dream (English, I just haven't read it since high school, and was thinking about it recently)
• A collection of plays by Oscar Wilde (Including, but not limited to: An Ideal Husband, The Importance of Being Earnest, and Other Plays I've Never Hear Of)

Lolpod:  It rained on me quite heavily on my way home from the library.  They've been doing construction on the sidewalk outside of our building, and have ripped up most of the bricks.  To keep us from getting our little Dutch toes muddy, they put a plank over the mud.  However, at some point today, they dug a little ditch that falls about 3ft down into the mud, and is about 1.5ft across.  So now, we have a moat!  

I was standing on the plank, looking into the muddy water (that I probably could have stepped over, since the "moat" is kind of skinny) and because I was extremely excited about the concept of having a moat I said, out loud,"Whoa! We have a moat!!"  As I was chuckling to myself about how childlike I sounded, I turned to find a guy walking over the drawbridge, such as it is, laughing at me.  I didn't realize there was anyone else in the world, much less just behind me on the drawbridge!  Oops!  

I'm sort of surprised he actually laughed and didn't just stare at me like I had two heads.  That's the normal response I get for my lolpods.  Ingrates. :-P

Horoscope this Week

"I was walking down the street agonizing over what to do about a particularly troublesome person in my life," writes Tai Moses in her blog (aerophant.com), "when I saw a playing card laying facedown on the sidewalk. I turned it over." It was a joker. Her thoughts immediately turned to the words of the philosopher Alan Watts: "When you get the message, hang up the phone." I hope you'll be inspired by Moses' experience, Libra. For now, the best approach to take with your knotty dilemmas is to welcome them as wild cards and X-factors that will bring you interesting experiences and valuable lessons -- and just stop worrying about them. 

And, because I am secretly convinced that there must be a lot of Sagittarius in my chart (or maybe I was a Sag in my past life):

There are 300,000 surveillance cameras set up all over the city of Beijing, spying constantly on its citizens. London, a supposed bastion of democracy, has 500,000 such cameras. I highly recommend you don't visit either place in the coming weeks, Sagittarius. It's crucial for you to avoid influences that make you feel self-conscious or guilty. You've got to hang out in spots where you're not being watched, scrutinized, and evaluated. While you're at it, you might also want to tell your Inner Critic to shut the hell up. You need wide-open, judgment-free spaces, both without and within. 

Amen to both horoscopes.

www.freewillastrology.com

Ps. Sorry It Isn't Lime

Did I mention I have the coolest friends, um, well, EVAR?  Because, I do.  I woke this morning to find a huge package waiting for me.  It was filled with the most wonderful things, a few of which you see in this photo.  A green fedora, amazing earrings, a black and grey silk scarf, a skirt from the Caribbean somewheres (worn here as a dress so you could see it).  Also involved were: lavender rooibos tea, a Thoth shaped cookie cutter, a Jimmy Buffett book, a mix CD, a swami head scarf (with beads) a photograph of Cade's Cove blown up and put on canvas!  Whoa!  What an awesome way to start my day!!!

"...all you need to wear a hat is attitude.  And you got that." 

So today was off to a wonderful start, so my presentation just had to go well.  Everyone seemed to find it interesting, the professor included.  When  I got home this evening I found an e-mail from him with my grade (9.0 out of 10.0!  Most people around here are pleased to get a 7.0, and thrilled by an 8.0, so I'm super excited!)  But, he also said that the topic would make a fine master's thesis, and that I should stop by soon if I'd like him to supervise!  Yay!

I had lunch with André.  Janko told us that the Lipsius building is supposed to look like a Venetian street.  It doesn't.  I spent the hours between classes studying Egyptian flash cards and talking to Janko.

After Coptic I came home to find I had no meeting tonight, so I met up with my neighbors and a bunch of others down at a Chinese restaurant nearby.  There were 7 Italians, a German, a Belgian, a Brazilian, an Indian, and an American there. :-)  We ate tons of Chinese food, and then a few people had lychees, and then a few more had ice cream, then some coffee.  Then everyone came back to Laura and Matteo's apartment for coffee, but since we're neighbors and my room is bigger everyone chilled over here.

My hats and other various head ornaments were the hit of the night.  Everyone wanted to wear my new green fedora, and all the girls thought my new swami hat, and my old belly dance headdress were the coolest things. (Sangbreeta (India) exclaimed:  She's more Indian than I am!) Many photos were the result, and not a little laughter!  :-D

Can't argue with a life like this one!

In other news:  I gain a new respect for Facebook.  Thanks Heather!  :-P

Candlight and Finally Some Attractive Dutch Men

Sigh.  <-- That's a sigh of contentment, just so you know.  

I talked to my mother last night on Skype, and during the course of the conversation I developed a pretty wicked, wheezy sort of cough.  My mom, convinced I was getting pneumonia or TB or something, insisted that I heat up some wine and drink it with some cinnamon.  So I did, and went to bed feeling warm, and rather fuzzy.  But no more cough!

Today was, as predicted, a Coffee Star sort of day.  Silvia and I sat for HOURS there and worked.  Julia and Jason joined us eventually and we were all very brav and worked hard.  I have a zillion note cards, and I think I might just be able to learn them all.

After Coffee Star closed, I came home and looked over my presentation for tomorrow.  I also read some more of The Marble Faun.  I'm completely entranced by this book, and I really really want to read more Hawthorne.  I think I'll find The Scarlet Letter over Winter Break.  (I had to read that book in high school, and everyone complained and complained about how boring it was, but I picked it up and read it in one night. Just could NOT put it down!)  

Julia and I went to the Collegum Musicum concert at the Pieterskerk.  Mahler, Mendelssohn, Grieg.  By candlelight.  Good stuff all around.  I think it was exactly what I needed more than anything.  I just sort of stared off into space and let my mind flit about while I watched the candles dance to the music.  Ahh.

Julia and I were both a little too relaxed afterwards, and were on our trip home when we saw Roebles, a Russian bar.  Didn't Jason say he was going there with some friends tonight?  Let's see if he's still there!  So, we did, and he was.  It was quite the contrast to our candlelight concert, but we adapted well enough!  A little dancing, a little wine, and the largest collection good looking men I've seen since coming here.  I swear, I've been wondering where Leiden keeps all its attractive men.  Found them.  :-D

The Home Stretch

This morning I had one of those terrible dreams where you wake up and think it's 11:30 when your class starts at 11, and you jump up and get ready only to realize that you're actually still asleep and late!  But, it was only 9:30 when I checked, so life was good, just sort of confused.  

Coptic was fine, and I'm sort of sad that it's almost over.  I wish I could have dedicated more time to it this semester, it's pretty cool.  Oh well, Winter break will be filled with Coptic since my exam is 20.January. 

I've decided to stop going to the Inleiding (Beginner Egyptian) course.  It has been amazingly helpful this semester, and has probably saved me from complete frustration and failure.  But, my Klassiek Egyptisch II exam, which is, naturally, the hardest, is a week from today!!  And while my knowledge of grammar isn't perfect, the grammar section of the exam is not as important as knowing vocabulary.  Plus, Inleiding meets 4 times this week, which means I would have been sitting in classes for almost 24 hours this week!!  I don't think so.  I can't see that as being very helpful, frankly.  So, I decided to skip out for the week and study vocab.

So that's what I did today.  I hit up Coffee Star, and met with Julia and Silvia and we worked there until Coffee Star closed.  I came home and wanted to work some more, but I got distracted by Nathaniel Hawthorne's The Marble Faun.  I think it was probably Jan who suggested it to me, and I stumbled upon it and thought, ok, cool.  It's amazing!  I remember reading The Scarlet Letter and being sort of disappointed that it wasn't just a short story.  I thought Hawthorne went a little long in describing the trees.  Marble Faun has its moments, but mostly it's just really well written with this weird sort of sense of confusion and mystery.  I'm sort of in love with Donatello.  :-)  

Went to the store and ran into Silvia.  We had a little chat which made me feel good.  :-)

Tomorrow promises much of the same, happily.  Only one week to go, and this semester is over!  :-D

Sinterklaas Has Returned to Spain

I'm still here.  Zwarte Piet didn't (pretend to) kick me or stuff me into his sack and take me back to Spain with him.  I wasn't that bad, apparently. Oh well, there's always next year!  ;-)

I had something of an exhaustingly awesome weekend.  Friday probably contained something scholarly, but the real point of the day was our Sinterklaas Game Night.  The usual Game Night crowd showed up, and we piled presents on the table and played a dice game to see who won what.  The game lasted forever, but no one seemed to mind.  In the end I got the most presents!  They were all candy, so I shared quite happily.  :-)

Afterwards we all played pool, as we usually do.  It was yet another great night of playing with my friends.  Jan and I walked home, because he nearly killed himself in a soccer game, and I was dizzy anyway.  Probably from all the sugar!  I didn't get to sleep until 4am!

Saturday I slept until noon! Then I went to the market to get some sewing supplies.  I wasn't in a particularly great mood because it was cold, and sort of dark, and I'm just so tired of wet coldness and a sky that starts growing dark at 3pm.  I was sort of thinking to myself, "Do I really want to do this?  Do I really want to stay another year to do a masters that I'm sort of unsure of?  I need a sign, I need to figure this out."  No sooner had I started to dwell on this, but what did I see?   A rainbow!  A beautiful, brightly shining rainbow that no one else seemed to notice!  Ok, Universe, I'll hang in there!  :-)

I spent my afternoon in the library, reading Stardust by Neil Gaiman.  (I'll review this amazing book over at The Nook soon.)  It was so pleasant to sit in the window, with my back against the warm heater, reading, and sometimes watching the people climb to the Burcht in the cold rain.  A tiny little girl started peering at me through the books, and she giggled in the most amazingly baby-ish giggle ever, and toddled around the shelf and shouted "Boo!" at me, and then climbed up beside me and started chattering in Dutch about how warm the heater was and how cold it was outside.  Hahahaha.  So amazingly cute!  :-D

Around 8 I headed over to Herengracht for another Sinterklaas celebration.  My fourth, actually.  :-)  Julia, her boyfriend Gerry, Ilaria, and I made all sorts of awesome food.  Gerry brought a Spätzle maker with him from Germany, so we made a huuuuuuge pot full of Käsespätzle!  Sooo good!  Ilaria made a fritata, which is like a Spanish tortilla, which is like a potato omelet.  Again, tasty.  Silvia and Jason arrived, bringing with them some curried tofu and couscous and a home made apple tart!  Don't forget the salad.  Ah, we had so much amazing food!  Janos came too and brought with him some Hungarian dessert wine that went almost too well with the tart.  

After a few bottles of wine (between 7 people) and entirely too much food, we talked and talked and talked, and were all surprised when it was suddenly 1am.  Another great evening!

Yesterday Jason, Silvia, Julia and Gerry and I sat at Coffee Star and worked on various projects.  Jason worked on his music, I worked on my novel, and Silvia worked on a paper.  Julia and Gerry just stopped by for some coffee, and moved on.  Janos showed up about 30 min before the place closed.  When it did, we packed up and headed to a restaurant on the Nieuwe Rijn for some more tea and talking.  

Janos suggested we watch a movie, so (after much debate) we chose 3:10 to Yuma, and went to Silva and Jason's place to watch it.  I have to say I thoroughly enjoyed the movie!  Really great film!  :-)  Midnight snuck past us all again, and Janos and I finally left.  I couldn't sleep to save my life, so I wrote a poem, and drank some chamomile tea.

Phew.  I need another weekend to recover from my weekend!

Je bent maar Zwarte Piet

Last night was sort of ridiculous.  We met up with Ioannis and Lucas, and managed to squeeze ourselves into the crowds.  After quite a wait, it was time.  Sinterklaas appeared with his Zwarte Pieten.  Now, for those of you who don't know about Sinterklaas, you should stop here and go read David Sedaris' essay: Six to Eight Black Men

Sint and his Pieten set up a big stage and called out the names of various international students.  Sinterklaas has a book in which every thing you've done that was bad is written. So, Sinterklaas decided to read out a few of the more interesting things various people had done!  hahaha  They got chocolate for it, so it wasn't so bad.  Just an all around crazy night.  Sint was drinking beer, and a whole group of Beligian girls danced with a particularly cute Zwarte Piet, and Giovanni took his shirt off for some reason, and it was just wild.

Afterwards, I talked with Kia, Taher, Farhad (all from Iran, Jan joked that it was more like a Zoroastrian sun festival than Christmas) Sahel (Afghanistan), and Wim (Belgium.)  Mark, an American guy I know, kept making Zwarte Piet jokes, and Paul, another American in the crowd, was simply aghast at the Pieten.  Americans have a hard time handling people in black face, and Sint didn't help it much by telling them all what nice slaves they were.  (I don't think they were actively making fun of black people though.  A Zwarte Piet is just as much a creature as an Elf, and I don't think anyone thinks of them as being anything akin to black people.)

Today it snowed!  Huuuge, splashy, slushy globs of snow.  It was beautiful, and everything turned white and icy and treacherous.  I went to Catalijn's and met up with the rest of the third year students to celebrate Sinterklaas.  We ate the traditional sweets (snoep) and talked (in Dutch) and laughed, and life was good.  I'd like to have more days like today!  

Though I don't need quite so much sugar.

Je Bent Maar Zwarte Piet --> Yes, to the tune of Hey There Delilah...

Sinterklaas and Piet Come from Spain

Zwarte Pieten Can Dance! --> By far my favorite video.  Catchy tune, lots of people dancing in blackface...why are these people SO STRANGE.

She Lets the River Answer

Well, Wednesday has made another valiant effort at killing me.  It has failed again, but only barely.  I was so excited about my presentation, but we ran out of time, so I'll have to present next week.  Bummer.  Though it means I can iron out a few kinks that were bothering me.  But I was so excited.

After class we all sat in Lipsius and ate and took pictures with André's camera, and had a good time.  Then I developed the beginnings of a migraine so I went home and laid down in the dark.

When I could see again, I went to Coffee Star and worked on a translation, and updated my other blogs.  I then stopped by a really awesome little second hand junk store.  It's like a mini- Goodwill, but with stranger stuff.  I got a really cool leather pencil case.  Only it looks more like a medicine bag than anything.  I think I'll store my mojo there.  And possibly my highlighters.  Haha.  There was a British couple in the store, struggling to speak with the shop owner who knew almost no English.  His wife asked me if I spoke English, so I was the translator!  :-)  They didn't realize until I said that my German was better than my Dutch that wasn't from Holland!  Woot!  :-D

Walked to ISN-R meeting in the rain.  It's ok, rain water makes my hair look really cool!  :-)  Thus the drippy photo of the day, and the green-ish background.

Came home, made dinner, and....had another migraine.  Maybe it's the weather.  Maybe Marla's up to her old tricks.  I don't know, but blah.  My migraines aren't really painful, I just go blind and feel sort of sick.   But it ended up being highly relaxing.  I turned on my Solstice lights (ok, Christmas lights!) and listened to a Zencast about correct speech.  I have to admit I fell asleep in the middle of it, though.  Nothing brings me quite so much joy as Gil Fronsdale's laugh though.  He's the monk who does the lectures.  And his laugh is just so childlike!  :-)

Now, I can see again, and I'm listening to Leonard Cohen.  Suzanne.  I'll be meeting Jan downstairs in 30 min or so and we'll be walking to Einstein.  Tonight is ISN-I's Sinterklaas event.  I don't know what they'll be doing, but I think Sinterklaas will be there.  Also, candy.  :-)

Lolpod:  Walking in the rain today, I looked to cross a street to find a man with a plastic bag over his head with a little slit cut for his eyes.  They just stared at me as if confused by my laughter, those little brown eyes behind the white plastic. 

Also, Holding Out for a Hero came on my playlist and I looked for a video on YouTube.  Unfortunately, I got THIS.  I need a hero too, strong, fast, fresh from the fight, all that.  Just please, PLEASE, not a cowboy with a neon, glow in the dark whip, ok?!  

The Doors of the Sky Are Opened!

Well, I've spent the entire day in the library.  I have a presentation to give tomorrow.  It's not even a major deal, only 10 min, only 20% of my grade.  But it's my first real chance to show this professor that I'm actually a decent scholar.  I've done nothing to impress him all semester, so I really want this project to wow him.

It's about doors.  In the Pyramid texts.  More specifically, it's about doors that are opened by unknown forces.  Pretty cool.  I've discovered that in the Pyramid Texts doors are either opened by gate keepers (gods or demons), the King, or unknown forces.  Rather, not mentioned forces.  My project focuses on the unknown forces, because they're the coolest.  And the most prevalent.  

I've discovered that almost all of these types of texts include this phrase, or a variation of it:  "The doors of the sky are opened for you; the doors of the firmament are thrown open for you."  Pretty cool stuff.  The texts talk about the king rising into the sky, and becoming Osiris, Horus and/or Anubis.  Isis and Nephthys welcome him, and he gets to sit upon the Iron Throne of Osiris.  Pretty sweet stuff, truthfully.  

I'm glad, because this has given me a little kick.  I feel like I could study texts about doors for a long time.  Which is good since that's what I want to do for a masters.  :-)

Yesterday's lolpod:  I was in the common room and there was a Common Room Committee meeting.  Giovanni was there, and he was talking about how busy his schedule was for the week: "I've got two exams and four parties!" he exclaimed, "And I'm getting so tired of studying drunk!"  Haha.  As if he was somehow forced to.  :-D

Here's a second photo of the day.  I spent the first half looking like I do above, and the rest, post-shower, looking like this.  :-)

In other news: I have, in many ways, turned back my inner clock, and have been re-embracing many aspects of my childhood self.  One of the things that has re-emerged is my love for Celtic, Pagan, and New Age music.  Hearing Omnia and their talent reminded me that there was a time when I would only listen to music like theirs.  Loreena McKennitt, Enigma, Adiemus, Enya.  Hahaha.  I've been trying to throw myself back into this sort of music, to coax my inner 12 year old to emerge a little more.  :-)

See my necklace?  I bought it when I was 12.  It's a crescent moon in a dark blue sky.  My hair hasn't been this long since I was 12.  I found the same perfume I wore when I was 12 (I got it at the Body Shop, and felt very adult for wearing it.  It's called Leap!  (exclamation mark included) and I still feel very adult for wearing it.)

Adiemus

Mummer's Dance

Today

This morning I listened to a very interested NPR that talked about the science of brewing beer.  NPR also aired the Ignoble Prize awards.  It's a science award for silly experiments.  "First they make you laugh, then they make you think."  My personal favorite was "Expensive Fake Medicine is More Effective than Cheap Fake Medicine."

Julia's coffee was a wonderful addition to my morning.  Didn't even have to add sugar or cream!  

Coptic is coming to a close.  We're on chapter 19 of 20!  Somehow we still have six classes though!   Lisa and I did our homework over lunch and talked about what we'd like to do with our lives.  

Egyptian was rather hilarious.  We had some high school kids in class today.  They were doing a sort of test run of various Egyptian topics to see if they might actually like to major in it.  Hays was in fine form.  He's such a funny man.

I took a long walk.  It's cold as anything out there, but there was supposed to be a really cool convergence of the moon and Venus and Jupiter or something.  Unfortunately, though unsurprisingly, the sky is cloudy, so you can't see anything. Bummer.

I turned my iPod onto Kelsang Chukie Tethong.  She's a Tibetan singer, apparently too cool for YouTube, who has one of the most amazing voices I've ever heard.  I walked around town.  I sat by the canal and watched the building across the street waver in the water.  I peeked longingly into the brightly lit, interestingly decorated, hipster houses.  I came home.

It's only 9:30, but I'm going to bed.  I'm not feeling so great, and I have an amazingly stressful week ahead.  I'm going to go snuggle in and read a little bit. :-)

Snow and Coffee!

I had this rockin dream last night about...well, something.  Lots and lots of water was involved.  I took pictures of my cousin underwater.  It was very bright, and colorful, and warm and awesome. Very Carribbean, amazing.  

Unfortunately, I turned my alarm off at some point, and didn't wake up until 12:30!  Ugh.  Of course, I was up until 3am reading Clan of the Cave Bear.  I just love it. 

I looked out my window and the world was a swirling mass of white!  Snow!  Beautiful!  

Sadly, by the time Jason and I met up outside it had turned to a freezing slushy rain.  We slipped and slid to the public library and set up shop in Coffee Star, the cafe there.  I wrote, he worked on his music, and we chatted quite a bit.  Julia and Silvia joined us eventually, and it was quite a lovely afternoon.  When Coffee Star closed we went to Olivier and had some tea.  Everyone had work to do so we all read our own stuff.  

I've been reading The Greek Myths by Robert Graves.  The stories of my childhood.  The Greeks were sort of my gateway gods to the Egyptians, so I feel I owe them my loyalty.  Their stories are just so cool!  :-)

I'm going to make it an early night tonight.  I want to get up tomorrow, cool dreams or no!  And I definitely can't wait to try the coffee Julia gave to me.  :-)

Sweet Empathy

Yeah yeah, Saturday.  I went on a mission looking for yarn and a new bag.  I wanted a bag big enough for my writing stuff, so I wouldn't have to empty out my back pack every time I wanted to go somewhere to write.

I ran into Sylvia, Janos and Jason at the market.  We wandered around for a bit, and then went to the top of V&D and got some coffee and talked for a long time.  Then we went onto their rooftop terrace and looked at the city from above.  Talked some more.

Our afternoon at the market became quite the day.  I found a perfect bag for only €10, and have some beautiful yarn.  Some beads too. :-)  Janos bought pecans!  Still warm!  Jason got some pistachios, also warm!  We went back to Jason's and Silvia's place and drank tea and ate the warm nuts and orange slices, and talked more. ("And she feeds you tea and oranges that come all the way from China.") Jason and I watched a bunch of YouTube videos while Silvia and Janos talked.  Then Silvia and I went to the store, because I had gotten to the bakery too late.  

What a great day!

In other news:  My friend, Taher, wrote a poem about me!!  :-D

She is the cosmopolitan brigade of fire

That sets ablaze all the papers of misery by her heart

And my heart was in need of the ashes

That are cathartic and nostalgic at the scent of dawn

My heart was flying to land on purgatory

To pick her fiery soul and taste the apple of heaven

That tastes like the voice of God in the mirror

And the smell of the furs of the wings of the angels woven to my heart

--Sweet Empathy

by Taher Berenjian

Defeated by Love

The sky was lit

by the splendor of the moon

So powerful

I fell to the ground.

Your love

has made me sure

I am ready to forsake

this worldly life

and surrender to the magnificence

of your Being.

--Rumi

The Big Blink

More and more I find the transition between my daydreams and my studies to be  difficult.  Fortunately for me, my studies aren't much of a problem anymore.  Well, I say that.  We took a test today which I failed.  Fortunately I'm not taking this particular class for credit, because I was a dismal failure.  But it was only because I had been writing just minutes before.  And somehow switching from my dream world to ancient Egyptian was just too much for me.  I couldn't remember simple words, couldn't bring the sentences into focus.  Class was fine though, and I had no trouble.  Just the transition.

Before class I went to Lipsius to write for a few minutes.  I had been working, and cleaning all morning, so I waited for a moment to gather my thoughts.  I wrote a line or two, stopped again to think.  The man sitting next to me, clearly a professor, stood up to leave, but before he went he smiled at me and asked, in Dutch "Are you trying to write something?"  When I nodded he smiled and said, again in Dutch "Then stop thinking and write!"  He said I could look back over it later.  I laughed, and he winked at me and walked off.  And I just started writing, no thoughts.  

Mostly questions came.  About my character, about her boyfriend, Bal, about what they were doing and why.  But answers came too!  Amazing!  So, I managed to get two pages of questions and answers before class.  Quite a nice exercise!  :-D  

After class I read Clan of the Cave Bear.  I read this book as a child, and Jan let me borrow it so I could read it again.  I can't say it's the best written book I've ever read, but I adore the story.  I can see why I loved it so much as a child: it's about a girl who studies to become a medicine woman.  Those were my favorite sorts of books as a kid.  :-)

Julia and Susanne came over for dinner and we made some pretty amazing banana-carrot curry.  :-)  After dinner I showed them my new poi, and then we all went out into the hall to play.  Silvia came over.  Laura and Matteo poked their heads out of the room and played too.  I taught everyone a few moves, and they practiced and played, and hit themselves in the face, and laughed, and it was just an amazing time.  We played with poi for almost 2 hours I'd say!  I think I'll try to teach a class on poi spinning next semester.  :-)

Now it's suddenly 1am, and I'm not sure how that happened.  Market day tomorrow, and I have plans to buy some yarn.  I have a few things I want to make!  :-)  

Life continues to amaze me.  And I think I might just be teaching Life a few things too!  ;-) 

I Suppose Life Will Kill Me Eventually

This has been a strange day.  I had class, and then I came home and ate lunch.  Then I developed a migraine, and took a very long nap with very confusing, albeit very good dreams. 

Then library.  Mastabas.  Home.  Dinner.  Thanksgiving conversation with my entire family.  And their dog, Beanie.  :-)  Technology is an amazing thing.  And so is my family.  

I just finished reading Howl's Moving Castle and I'm sort of in the zone.  Kia and I were talking about this zone not too long ago.  He was listening to really good music, and felt like the world stopped making sense.  I agreed with him.  Called it art.  Words always do that to me.  They pull me out of this physical world, and hold me solidly in some other, foggier world, of beauty and not a little magic.  I like it, though I agree with Kia that the transition back into the "real" world can be really difficult.

Fortunately for me, I don't have to get up early tomorrow, which means I have no reason to come back to this world tonight.  

Lolpod:  A big poofy white cat in a window, white curtains behind him.  He was so fat, and so content to be sleeping in the window, I just had to stop and revel in the moment.  Happy Buddha cat face.  Until he woke up and saw me standing there.  He was not amused.  At all.  His big eyes stared at me rather disdainfully as I laughed and laughed at him.

I was daydreaming, and Janko told me I have to be careful because living in your own world is dangerous.  "It will kill you eventually," he said.  I just laughed and said, "Everything will kill you eventually!"

Women's Work

I'm not really in the mood to write much about my day.  I'm really in the mood to write in my novel.  Wednesday is my bad day.  It's just too full, too draining. 

Always the optimist, I have to say that I'm feeling more in control of my studies than I have all semester.  During my break I had lunch with the first year students.  We spoke in Dutch!  :-)

Today has been a rush of languages: classes in English, friends in Dutch, friends in German, classes in Egyptian, classes in Coptic, poetry in French (why not?)  

I've been writing, and thinking about writing, too.  Some scenes are starting to come together.  Right now they're just fragments, flashes, but I'm beginning to see how they all fit in.  And I'm really getting to know my characters.  

I'm going to climb atop Kilamanjaro (that's my name for my bed) and write until I fall asleep.  Which probably won't take that long.