I had the most amazing dream last night. I was sitting on a stone bench, in a candle lit room. On the wall were six stone blocks, and as I stared at them, I realized they combined to form the face of the Buddha in a very complex and subtle way. It was easy to miss. I was filled with the most profound sense of calm I believe I've ever experienced, and in the dream I pulled my brown scarf over my head and curled my feet underneath myself and just stared at the Buddha in amazement and joy.
This dream was, I think, the only reason that I didn't freak out during my exam. I failed it, and I know it. This isn't one of those "Oh, I didn't do so great, I probably got a B-" sort of "failed" this is a "Even if every question I answered was correct, it will not be enough to save me" sort of FAILED. With authority. It was interesting though, because after I had decided there was nothing much to be done about the exam, I had a great time doing the translations. I spent most of the exam time planning my strategies for the make-up exam in March. There were plenty of others in my class who said they'd probably see me in March. Sigh.
But my dream. Can't get too upset with the perfect face of the Buddha smiling serenely at you in your dreams!
I came home and destroyed my room. I pulled all my clothes out of the closet and my baskets, and organized them into keep, take home, and throw away (I only throw away clothes when they get major holes, so I have some pretty ancient articles.) I also organized all my X-mas presents. Did I go shopping today? You know I suppose I did. I'm so tired, I can't remember exactly anymore. Either way, I have tons of presents, and I can't wait to pass them out! :-)
At 5 I met with Aiste, Daniele, Claudia, Michele, and Alberto (all Italians, except Aiste, who's from Lithuania) and we got hot chocolate and chatted. It was a really nice afternoon, though the dark room with the dancing candles, and the hot chocolate sort of put us all to sleep.
I came home a few hours later, and watched Memoirs of a Geisha on YouTube while I organized. The movie is good, but sort of disappointing compared to the book. I suppose it's more that's it's disappointing compared to my imagination. The kimono in my head were much more breathtaking than the kimono on screen. The movie stuck to the book really well, and I didn't much mind the changes. They made sense, and didn't take anything way.
I think I would have made one heck of a geisha. I think I was simply born too late and on the wrong continent. Perhaps in a past life. Or a future one.
Around midnight I trucked over to Cafe d'Ub for the final ISN-I party. It was a blast. The music was great, and I danced with about a zillion people. There was a stage, with a pole, and, no I didn't dance on it, but my neighbor did! She's been taking "pole fitness" at the gym here! I danced with one guy for a while, and after the song was over, he kissed my hand and disappeared! haha! I can't express how great it felt to dance again. I was in the back corner of the stage for a long time, so it meant no one could see me (except the DJ, who looked SO much like Jan, it was really confusing) which meant I got to let go in a way to don't get to much here.
Dancing where I'm from is different from dancing here. Or rather, the dance culture I come from is different from the club scene dance culture. I'm a Lindy Hopper, and we understand dance and sexuality in VERY VERY different ways from club dancers. Truth is, even though the way I dance (sort of a hip-hop belly dance) could be considered provoking with all the hip movements etc. I don't dance for anyone but myself. Even when I'm performing, it's about, me and the music. People are just there to give me their energy. They can take mine if they want, but I'm not there to seduce them. This is why dancing in the corner was so very freeing. No one could see, and yet I was surrounded by people and their dancing energies.
Now I'm home, and tired. Also, I have the hiccoughs. :-5
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