Snow and Coffee!

I had this rockin dream last night about...well, something.  Lots and lots of water was involved.  I took pictures of my cousin underwater.  It was very bright, and colorful, and warm and awesome. Very Carribbean, amazing.  

Unfortunately, I turned my alarm off at some point, and didn't wake up until 12:30!  Ugh.  Of course, I was up until 3am reading Clan of the Cave Bear.  I just love it. 

I looked out my window and the world was a swirling mass of white!  Snow!  Beautiful!  

Sadly, by the time Jason and I met up outside it had turned to a freezing slushy rain.  We slipped and slid to the public library and set up shop in Coffee Star, the cafe there.  I wrote, he worked on his music, and we chatted quite a bit.  Julia and Silvia joined us eventually, and it was quite a lovely afternoon.  When Coffee Star closed we went to Olivier and had some tea.  Everyone had work to do so we all read our own stuff.  

I've been reading The Greek Myths by Robert Graves.  The stories of my childhood.  The Greeks were sort of my gateway gods to the Egyptians, so I feel I owe them my loyalty.  Their stories are just so cool!  :-)

I'm going to make it an early night tonight.  I want to get up tomorrow, cool dreams or no!  And I definitely can't wait to try the coffee Julia gave to me.  :-)

Sweet Empathy

Yeah yeah, Saturday.  I went on a mission looking for yarn and a new bag.  I wanted a bag big enough for my writing stuff, so I wouldn't have to empty out my back pack every time I wanted to go somewhere to write.

I ran into Sylvia, Janos and Jason at the market.  We wandered around for a bit, and then went to the top of V&D and got some coffee and talked for a long time.  Then we went onto their rooftop terrace and looked at the city from above.  Talked some more.

Our afternoon at the market became quite the day.  I found a perfect bag for only €10, and have some beautiful yarn.  Some beads too. :-)  Janos bought pecans!  Still warm!  Jason got some pistachios, also warm!  We went back to Jason's and Silvia's place and drank tea and ate the warm nuts and orange slices, and talked more. ("And she feeds you tea and oranges that come all the way from China.") Jason and I watched a bunch of YouTube videos while Silvia and Janos talked.  Then Silvia and I went to the store, because I had gotten to the bakery too late.  

What a great day!

In other news:  My friend, Taher, wrote a poem about me!!  :-D

She is the cosmopolitan brigade of fire

That sets ablaze all the papers of misery by her heart

And my heart was in need of the ashes

That are cathartic and nostalgic at the scent of dawn

My heart was flying to land on purgatory

To pick her fiery soul and taste the apple of heaven

That tastes like the voice of God in the mirror

And the smell of the furs of the wings of the angels woven to my heart

--Sweet Empathy

by Taher Berenjian

Defeated by Love

The sky was lit

by the splendor of the moon

So powerful

I fell to the ground.

Your love

has made me sure

I am ready to forsake

this worldly life

and surrender to the magnificence

of your Being.

--Rumi

The Big Blink

More and more I find the transition between my daydreams and my studies to be  difficult.  Fortunately for me, my studies aren't much of a problem anymore.  Well, I say that.  We took a test today which I failed.  Fortunately I'm not taking this particular class for credit, because I was a dismal failure.  But it was only because I had been writing just minutes before.  And somehow switching from my dream world to ancient Egyptian was just too much for me.  I couldn't remember simple words, couldn't bring the sentences into focus.  Class was fine though, and I had no trouble.  Just the transition.

Before class I went to Lipsius to write for a few minutes.  I had been working, and cleaning all morning, so I waited for a moment to gather my thoughts.  I wrote a line or two, stopped again to think.  The man sitting next to me, clearly a professor, stood up to leave, but before he went he smiled at me and asked, in Dutch "Are you trying to write something?"  When I nodded he smiled and said, again in Dutch "Then stop thinking and write!"  He said I could look back over it later.  I laughed, and he winked at me and walked off.  And I just started writing, no thoughts.  

Mostly questions came.  About my character, about her boyfriend, Bal, about what they were doing and why.  But answers came too!  Amazing!  So, I managed to get two pages of questions and answers before class.  Quite a nice exercise!  :-D  

After class I read Clan of the Cave Bear.  I read this book as a child, and Jan let me borrow it so I could read it again.  I can't say it's the best written book I've ever read, but I adore the story.  I can see why I loved it so much as a child: it's about a girl who studies to become a medicine woman.  Those were my favorite sorts of books as a kid.  :-)

Julia and Susanne came over for dinner and we made some pretty amazing banana-carrot curry.  :-)  After dinner I showed them my new poi, and then we all went out into the hall to play.  Silvia came over.  Laura and Matteo poked their heads out of the room and played too.  I taught everyone a few moves, and they practiced and played, and hit themselves in the face, and laughed, and it was just an amazing time.  We played with poi for almost 2 hours I'd say!  I think I'll try to teach a class on poi spinning next semester.  :-)

Now it's suddenly 1am, and I'm not sure how that happened.  Market day tomorrow, and I have plans to buy some yarn.  I have a few things I want to make!  :-)  

Life continues to amaze me.  And I think I might just be teaching Life a few things too!  ;-) 

I Suppose Life Will Kill Me Eventually

This has been a strange day.  I had class, and then I came home and ate lunch.  Then I developed a migraine, and took a very long nap with very confusing, albeit very good dreams. 

Then library.  Mastabas.  Home.  Dinner.  Thanksgiving conversation with my entire family.  And their dog, Beanie.  :-)  Technology is an amazing thing.  And so is my family.  

I just finished reading Howl's Moving Castle and I'm sort of in the zone.  Kia and I were talking about this zone not too long ago.  He was listening to really good music, and felt like the world stopped making sense.  I agreed with him.  Called it art.  Words always do that to me.  They pull me out of this physical world, and hold me solidly in some other, foggier world, of beauty and not a little magic.  I like it, though I agree with Kia that the transition back into the "real" world can be really difficult.

Fortunately for me, I don't have to get up early tomorrow, which means I have no reason to come back to this world tonight.  

Lolpod:  A big poofy white cat in a window, white curtains behind him.  He was so fat, and so content to be sleeping in the window, I just had to stop and revel in the moment.  Happy Buddha cat face.  Until he woke up and saw me standing there.  He was not amused.  At all.  His big eyes stared at me rather disdainfully as I laughed and laughed at him.

I was daydreaming, and Janko told me I have to be careful because living in your own world is dangerous.  "It will kill you eventually," he said.  I just laughed and said, "Everything will kill you eventually!"

Women's Work

I'm not really in the mood to write much about my day.  I'm really in the mood to write in my novel.  Wednesday is my bad day.  It's just too full, too draining. 

Always the optimist, I have to say that I'm feeling more in control of my studies than I have all semester.  During my break I had lunch with the first year students.  We spoke in Dutch!  :-)

Today has been a rush of languages: classes in English, friends in Dutch, friends in German, classes in Egyptian, classes in Coptic, poetry in French (why not?)  

I've been writing, and thinking about writing, too.  Some scenes are starting to come together.  Right now they're just fragments, flashes, but I'm beginning to see how they all fit in.  And I'm really getting to know my characters.  

I'm going to climb atop Kilamanjaro (that's my name for my bed) and write until I fall asleep.  Which probably won't take that long.

:-)

Whuff.  I feel like I've been on a wild roller coaster and have just hit a brick wall.  I'm exhausted.  Like, looking up at my bed contemplating just sleeping on the floor (with a sleeping bag, of course) sort of exhausted.  Today has simply been too good.

I went to the public library here to see if it might be worth getting a library card.  I can read Dutch, but the books I want to read are mostly written in English, and translations are not fun.  So, I checked out the English section.  I found Stardust by Neil Gaiman.  It's a truly pleasant little book, and I read a few chapters of it.  

My back was warm against the heater, rain was pelting against the window, a fairy market unfolded before my eyes.

There's a cafe in the library called Coffee Star, and I sat in there, drank a mocha, and wrote and wrote.  I did a little homework, and then I wrote some more.  One of my characters has jumped out at me and demanded that he be described.  So I've spent most of my day figuring him out.  He's a rather delightful man, if a bit close minded at times.  :-)

Then I came home, and ate, and wrote some more.  I went to the sports center at 6 and danced for an hour.  I'm trying to figure out how to use poi in dance, and make new combinations and such.  Then Tai Chi, and Wushu, and home.

I'm listening to Bela, my room smells like lavender, and I'm simply exhausted.  :-)  But sublime.

Alive!

Today's picture is a bit weird.  But I just can't seem to take one that looks any better, so we can all deal.

I woke up with a feeling of dread because I hadn't done my Coptic homework and knew I was behind.  And then I got to class, opened my notebook and realized I had done the homework after all, and moreover had read ahead in the book.  So I was just wrong.  :-)

I read quite a lot of Khalil Gibran today.  His words make me want to fly to pieces and become the breath reciting them.  

I can't quite describe the transformation that has come over me in the past few weeks.  I feel like the little wild kitten of my soul has once more been awakened, and is playing in the tall grasses inside me again, stalking butterflies and climbing trees.  I feel like all the negative emotions, situations, experiences that I have felt, been in, experienced since the age of 12 have been stripped from me, scrubbed off of my skin, evaporated.  I remember them, but they no longer seem to be a part of me.  My pain was once like a tattoo, and now my skin is clean again.  I used to have a hundred names, and now, only my true name is resonating. I feel new, but at the same time, ancient.  Like the child I used to be.  I've become the woman I'm supposed to be.

How can you describe this feeling?!  How can you describe the shattering of what you thought was your heart?  How can you describe the realization that you've been a bird living in a tiny beautiful cage?  Every minute now feels like I'm dancing!

Funny how the smallest thing can change everything.  Funny how one emotion can open up the secrets of how to truly feel emotion.  Funny how quickly time can be erased, and how quickly the mind can become like itself again.  Funny how clear everything seems now that my sacred waters are still.  For once I can see everything reflecting clearly!

Is this cryptic?  I suppose it is.  I think it should be.  It's a mystery I don't quite understand myself.  And I like not understanding.  I like the mystery of this new child that is my ancient self.

Hot like the sun, wet like the rain,

Green like the leaves, Life is a game

Stars in my head, shine Moon shine

Everything's cool and I feel fine

Can you touch (the root that feeds us)

Can you hear (the words that I say)

Can you feel (the music move you)

Can you feel alive today?

Strong like the grass, tall like a tree

Free like the wind, eternally

Nothing to lose, nothing to gain.

Just running wyld, again and again and again

Bumblebees and blossom, only trees and me

Humblebees and blossom, only trees and me...

--Alive! by Omnia

Temple of Fantasy

I'm happier today than I have been in a while.  Maybe content is the word.  Fully comfortable in my own skin.  No doubts anymore.  :-)

I had a really great day today.  Jan and I went to the Temple of Fantasy, the fantasy fair (Ren fair) that was held this weekend at the Pieterskerk.  We were there when the doors opened at 11.  Everyone was dressed up, and there were tons of vendors selling their wares.  Jewelry, books, clothes, candles, statues, POI!  :-)  

There were also bands playing.  I'm generally really picky when it comes to music, especially live music.  And I'm particularly skeptical when the genre is referred to as "Neo-Pagan."  Not to say Pagan music is bad as a genre, it's just that when it's bad, it's BAAAD.  There were two bands today:  Rapalje and Omnia  

The first was a really solidly great Celtic band.  Lots of flute and drum and bagpipe.  Wonderful vocals, hilarious antics.  Good times.  I'm definitely going to look into them some more.

But truthfully Omnia was the one that sort of blew me away.  As I said, I was extremely skeptical at first, especially when I saw the lead singer.  He wore a long black coat, black pants, a long brown loin cloth made of leather, a top hat, with long red dreds and brown feathers falling down his back.  I thought, "Meh, just another Goth kid who wants to be noticed.  This might suck."  But I was wrong.

I'm not a fan of the "Goth" look generally.  It tends to reflect a certain lack of self esteem, I think, and I'm just plain annoyed with people who refuse to see anything but black in life.  But these guys wore it well.  They weren't trying to be weird, not trying to be something they weren't.  They just WERE weird.  Haha.  And they weren't dark; they actually had an amazing sense of humor.  Hilarious.

In the end though, I was really impressed by their musical talent.  They didn't just look cool and make noise, they were tight.  Their voices were all beautiful, and flexible, and their harmonies were spotless.  Musically their songs were complicated and interesting.  There was no Gothic Black Fluff here.  These guys were talented and made what I can honestly call music!

The lead singer, Sic, even recited The Raven by Edgar Allen Poe to music.  Frankly, this poem has ALWAYS gotten on my nerves.  I don't like the meter, and the repetition has always grated on my nerves.  The whole audience sat down, and I thought "Oh, here we go.  Dark black, raven, death, blood, gloom."  But I was absolutely mesmerized by him.  The poem comes to life when recited to music.  It works perfectly.  And Sic brought it to life.  It wasn't just the over-dramatized gasping of a man with too much eyeliner.  This was truly art!  I was literally breathless by the end.  :-)

They just take you by the core and shake you around.  The music takes them over, and they send it deep inside you and you can't resist it.  And you don't want to.  I haven't heard such a talented group of musicians in a long time.  

So, yes, that was the day.  Jan and I wandered the booths looking at all the little trinkets.  He found a really amazing ankh necklace for me, but then was haunted by Egyptian stuff.  Ankhs kept jumping out at him at every booth.  I played around with all sorts of different types of poi, and finally decided on some nice flag poi.  They look like wings when I spin them!  They're red with black trim.  Normally wouldn't have been my very first choice (I personally loved the lapis blue with green trim) but they'll look so cool with my belly dance costume that I just had to.  Now I have two pairs of poi (I have some hand-made ribbon poi that Robert got for me at a Fantasy Fair in Spain not to long ago) that will look amazing if I can ever perform.  :-)  

Jan and I had an amazing lunch of bread, pesto, some sort of Croatian sauce, olives (for me) and soup (for Jan.)  Jan bought a flute and we got some tea and he played around with it.  We watched the bands.  We danced.  (Jan won't admit it, but he's a good dancer.)  We wandered around again.  We spent 7 hours there, and didn't want to leave!  I got an Omnia CD and the whole band signed it for me.  We chatted with them for a bit, made another round, and left. 

When we got outside we found that it had snowed, so we had a mini snowball fight, and took pictures of the street.  Now I'm home, listening to Omnia and Faun, and rather enjoying it all.  I used to love this sort of stuff as a child, and have slowly moved away from it.  I miss it, and it feels good to come back.  :-) 

Open your eyes and you can see

They can steal the land but your spirit is free

I belong to me, I belong to me

They can steal my land, but my spirit is free

I belong to me, I belong to me

They can break the land but they can't break me.

Death! Are you ready to die?

Make the fat cats rich to support the lie?

Mulit-media games of war

Multinationals keeping score

All of this don't mean a thing

Cause we still dance and we still sing

Democracy, plutocracy

They can break the land, but they can't break me.

--Omnia, Dance Til We Die

Go Team HuCo!

Man, what a day!  The weather around here has lost its mind.  We've had two days of hail!  Hail!  And today it snowed!  The first snow of the season!  Funny thing is, today was also the day that Sinterklaas came to town.  :-)  Sadly, I missed it, but that's ok, there's always next year.

I spent my morning waiting for Jan to wake up and studying.  And truthfully mostly waiting for the plumber to come and fix my shower.  Which he did, and life is much cleaner now.

I stepped outside to watch it snow, and noticed Julia looking from her window into the courtyard at a small black cat.  She had the most amazing yellow eyes I've ever seen, and was meowling at us hungrily.  Sadly, we're both vegetarians and thus had nothing to offer.  Alas.  :-)

Jan Claus woke up, and we met Julia, Illaria and Janos at the market.  I was amazed at how nonchalant everyone was about the hail.  I feel like it should only hail if there's about to be a tornado, so to me hail is rather sinister.  But we all slogged through it with no problems, no sense of urgency.  Cool.

I'm also amazed at how nonchalant people are about the market.  I still haven't gotten over how amazing it is to see so much fish, and fresh olives, and spices and flowers.  The world is an amazing place!

After a successful market day (which among the group included purchases of bread, scones, kibbeling (fried fish), flowers, and 5 potatoes) Illaria, Janos and Julia wandered off back to their lives, and Jan and I went to the Pieterskerk to pick up our tickets for the Fantasy Fair (Ren Fair) tomorrow. We got cheese and corn bread sandwiches on the way. On the way back, we stopped in at an esoteric book store and geeked out for a while.  Then on to a book store so I could buy note cards and so Jan could look at journals, and of course, the books. 

Then home again where I spent the rest of my day making Egyptian flash cards.  I now have nearly 300 of them, and I'm not done yet!  I'm determined to learn them all too!  Phew.

At 8 there was a pub quiz down at Café 't Keizertje.  The teams were split up by faculty, so we had 2 Science and Math teams, 2 Law teams, the Humanities, and Archaeology.  Unfortunately, Archaeology consisted of just Jan and me, so we joined Humanities.  Such a great night of really tough questions and A LOT of laughter.  These people are too much fun!  My team was Carlos, Denny, Denny's girl, Walter, Cindy, Jan and me.  In the end, Humanities won, too!  

After Humanities made everyone cry, we all went downstairs and played pool.  Jan, Walter and I played against Carlos, Kia, and Giorgios.  It was actually a very sad game because we were ahead, and then, we lost.  To Kia, who I don't htink has ever played pool in his life.  Ever.  Oh well.   My team and I lost the pool tournament, but we walked out with heads held high.  Or something.  :-)

So, yes, another good day!

I'm beginning to rather enjoy winter now that it's decided to actually be winter and stop pretending to be other seasons like "fall" or "summer." Ha!

Tomorrow Jan and I are getting up early and going to the Fantasy Fair!  I have to go pick out my outfit!  :-D

Yesterday the North Wind Ran Rampant in the Streets

I'm going to update quickly.  Jan Claus is still asleep, and I'm waiting for him to wake up so we can go to the market!

Yesterday I did exactly as I promised and didn't get out of bed, except to make some toast, until time for class.  :-)  I didn't get quite as much work done as I had hoped, but flash cards were made, and Egyptian words were certainly learned.  And a few poems were read, and some artwork was looked at, and though I might have technically been wasting time, I was expanding my mind, so I can't consider it wasted.

Plus, by the time I got to class I was awake, and alert, and ready to learn.  And I did!  Ah, Egyptian yesterday was so refreshingly clear!  For once I could look at a sentence and not just know what it said, but I knew why it said what it said!  I've realized this is a problem with me.  Has been forever.  When I was in middle school I could look at a word problem and be able to tell you the answer.  But I struggled so hard to learn how to "show my work."  In the end, I lost my ability to just look at a problem and figure it out in my head.  Being forced to put the process on paper completely changed the way my brain comprehended math.  I'm trying not to let this happen with Egyptian.  I can look at a sentence and know what it says, but I struggle to remember whether a verb is a subjunctive sdjm=f or an indicative sdjm=f or a freakin sdjm.ty=f(y)  I really hate those.

There was another Game Night, and it was yet again a blast.  The usual suspects were there, and the Belgians played Colonies, as usual, and we played Apples and Pears, as usual.  Though we did broaden our horizons and played Monopoly.  I'm actually pretty notoriously bad at Monopoly because I have no head for strategy, and once people start getting competitive, I sort of have to shut down.  But everyone was really light hearted about the game last night, so we all just laughed and joked, and the game was really just a prop.  Which is as it should be.  I ended up winning though, in the end.  But that was just luck really, because I only managed to buy two properties, and fortunately didn't land on too many other properties.  And I got the Free Parking money, which really boosted my stash.  Haha.

Afterwards, Jan Claus, Walter, Kia, and two girls whose names I will never be able to spell, one from Indonesia, the other from Taiwan, and I went to some party of somebody.  I was never quite sure why we went.  Something about Facebook, I don't know.  But we had a really great time.  The music was sometimes really good, and we all danced.  As the night progressed, however, the music sort of fell into Dutch music, which is, according to what I've heard, pretty bad.  Really bad, actually.  There was also a fight, and a few guys got kicked out.  We were on a little catwalk overhead, so we got to watch and not get involved.

In other news:  I did my dishes, cooked a meal, washed the dishes again.  I stepped into the bathroom and found it completely covered in rice!  Rice!  A few days ago I spilled a bowl of rice in the sink while doing dishes, so lots of rice went down the drain.  The shower has been draining really slowly lately, and I didn't even consider the possibility of the rice.  Now, my shower won't drain at all, and every time I run water in my kitchen sink it ends up in my shower.  I cleaned up the rice, but gah.  Rice!  Hahaha.

So that was my Friday.  Jan Claus may sleep all day, but eventually we'll go to the market, and then hit the books.  Next semester, I'm going to be the best student in my classes.  I can just feel it.

The Sequestered Nook

Ok, my book blog has begun!  I can't escape the seductions of those little stacks of paper and the sweet worlds they contain.  And I must admit I don't want to!  :-)

The Sequestered Nook

Pink Sunset Beaches

I'm always amazed at how much people can change your mood.  I was simply exhausted today, discouraged, uninspired.  Couldn't get motivated (mostly, I think, because I couldn't get warm!)  and just wanted to go back to bed.  

And then I worked on a project with Catalijn and Kenny (both Dutch) and Catalijn said she has a friend looking for a roommate. 

And then there was mastaba class, which was great.  We talked about how the Egyptians, far from being obsessed with death, were actually very enthusiastic about life.  Sure, most of what we have talks about death, but, most of what we have is from tombs....  But look at the mastaba tombs of the 5th and 6th Dynasties and you'll see more depictions of the joys of life.  In fact, they refused to even represent the dead body.  So, no, Egyptians weren't obsessed with death; it was life they craved.

Sasha and I walked home talking about culture and living history.

On the way home from the grocery I ran into Jan Claus who was just returning from the book store.  So, we nerded out for a while over his new buys, and I told him about my new buys.  We both agreed that there are much worse addictions.  It's so nice to have someone around who loves books as much as I do.  :-)

I don't have class until 3pm tomorrow.  My plan?  To curl up in bed and not move.  Until 3.  I think I might just take my computer and my Egyptian work up there with me and get some work done.  But, I just don't know that I'm going to get out of bed longer than it takes me to make some toast.  Ahhh....

In other news:  Gmail has decided to add a settings option where you can make your mail very pretty.  Themes, different color schemes, etc.  Right now, my e-mail inbox is a beach with a pretty pink sunset.  I think, however, that as time passes, it might just change to night, and then back again to day.  There's a location setting too, and if I set it to Nashville, the sun is out.  If I set it to Cairo, it's a dark beach.  Mine is sunset.  This is entirely too much detail in my life, but I LOVE it!  :-D

My Kind of Therapy

Wednesdays suck all the energy and enthusiasm right out of me.  I mean it.  Bleh.  Up in the mornin' at 8am, and I don't come home until 11pm.  Blah blah.  Oh well, I only have to hold in for another month, and then things can really change.  They're already changed, but my class schedule remains for another month.  Then, relative freedom.  Then I can at least sleep a little.  Next semester I'm saving more time for myself. :-)

Today I decided I had had enough.  I was cold, and just couldn't get warm, and I couldn't breathe, and I went to Coptic and just put my head down on the table.  Exhausted.  

So I stood up and walked out.  (Class hadn't started yet, and I was alone in the room.)  No Coptic for me today, even though I'm really really behind in there already.  But the exam isn't until late January. I have to make priorities!  

I went to a book shop to get some cards so I can make Egyptian note cards.  My plan is to learn two pages of vocabulary a day.  In two weeks I'll have learned the entire glossary in the back of my book.  That, I think, is what I need to do.  But, well, I was at a book store, so I bought  a few books too.  Couldn't help it.  Call it therapy!  :-)

Howl's Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones.  I've never seen the movie, but the guy who did Spirited Away did the movie, and I LOVED Spirited Away.  I've heard the book is AMAZING, and if it's anything at all like Spirited Away, I'll probably like it.  Anything with reality blurring, and I'm happy.

Which brings me to the other book I bought: After Dark by Haruki Murakami.  I'm actually considering starting another blog just to write book reviews.  :-)  (I'm afraid I'm addicted to both reading and writing, so really a book blog was inevitable.)  This book is a lot of things.  Yeah, I read it in an hour.  I can't say that it's one of my favorite books.  Frankly I was slightly disappointed in it.  But, I love the way it makes me feel.  Hopefully I'll post a nice review of it soon.  I'll have to read some more Murakami, I think.

Now I'm home, and I'm going to bed.  Clan of the Cave Bear is waiting for me in my tall bed.  :-)

Lolpod:  The look on the man's face when he caught me singing and jamming out to Bob Seger's Feel Like a Number in an impromptu dance therapy session. :-P

I take my card and I stand in line

To make a buck I work over time

Dear sir letters keep coming in the mail

I work my back till its racked with pain

The boss can't even recall my name

I show up late and I'm docked

It never fails

I feel like just another spoke in a great big wheel

Like a tiny blade of grass in a great big field

To workers I'm just another drone

To Ma Bell I'm just another phone

I'm just another statistic on a sheet

To teachers I'm just another child

To the IRS I'm another file

I'm just another consensus on the street

Gonna cruise out of this city

Head down to the sea

Gonna shout out at the ocean

Hey it's me!

And I feel like a number

I feel like a number

I feel like a stranger

A stranger in this land

I feel like a number

I'm not a number 

I'm not a number

Dammit I'm a man

I said I'm a man!

--Bob Seger

I'm an easy person to please:  give me books, and give me music, and I will find my joy once again!  Without fail!  :-D

Good Times and Poofy Hair

Today's picture represents why I can't sleep with wet hair.  When I finally managed to get a comb through it it went POOF!  

Today was amazing.  I got straight out of bed, and sat at my desk and started working.  A little classical music, a little Turkish apple tea, a little toast and jam, and I had a day!

Jan Claus stopped by shortly to drop off some books.  Clan of the Cave Bear, and The Greek Myths (Robert Graves.)  :-D  I'm proud to say that I was able to resist temptation, and continue working.

I did a common room shift and studied a little Coptic.  Only a little because Taher (Iran) came in and we talked about poetry a lot.  

I went to the sports center a bit early to practice poi spinning.  I did a little Tai Chi, but it was really frustrating tonight, because there were only super beginners and the people practicing for a competition this weekend.  So, I went to the next room and spun some more.  Chewie, one of the advanced students, saw me and asked if I wanted to practice with his chain whip.  Chain whip!  The answer was yes.  So, I played around with that for a good long time, and didn't kill myself or anyone else.  :-D

Wushu was really great tonight.  Back in the intermediate line, but moving really fast.  I watched the advanced students a lot because the teacher is back now from China.  She's so intense!  I was really amazed at one guy who just couldn't get this one move to work.  The teacher had to literally hold his feet so they'd do the right thing.  But he wasn't frustrated at all by any of it.  He just kept trying.  Amazing.

Afterwards I stood outside with Dephina, Dean, and Clinton and talked.  About everything, literally, everything.  From Lord of the Rings to the Surinamese word for drool.  We stood outside and chatted until 11pm!  And decided on a series of movie nights: Bond, Lord of the Rings, Pixar.  Yeah.  

Jan Claus was leaving the sportscenter at 11 (apparently he's there every Tuesday at the same time as me, but we never see each other) so we biked home together and chatted a bit more about movies.

Now I'm home, and FREEZING.  Like, chilled completely.  But it's too late to shower.  Please note the morning after POOF: 

What Women Want

You can always tell by my photo that it's Monday or Tuesday.  I'm always wearing my black sporty top and my hair is up in some configuration of a pony tail.  I so rarely wear my hair up when not playing sports anymore.  

Wushu tonight was pretty tough.  Jan put me in the Advanced line tonight!  This does NOT mean that he considers me advanced though.  There were just too many people in the intermediate line.  But I'm still a bit flattered by it.  :-)  It was terrifying though.  I was always the last one, of course, so by the time I go to the end of the room, I had the entire group of Advanced students watching me.  It was harder too, much harder, because there aren't as many advanced people, and they move a lot faster, so the line was really going quickly.  Back and forth, and back and forth.  We did three or four rotations while the beginners and intermediates did one!  Phew.

In sword forms I almost got IMPALED by a beginner with no control.  So a few of us went upstairs to go over the forms alone where no one would accidentally kill us.

Julia came by for dinner, and we watched What Women Want.  It's an amazingly stupid movie, but really pretty funny.  Julia and I agreed it was the perfect movie for the evening.  Brain candy.  Dumb, but entertaining.  Exactly what you need when all you do is stare at someone else's words on a page.

What do women want?  I think it mostly comes down to this: women want to define themselves the way they want to define themselves, and not the way anyone else thinks is appropriate.  I don't think this is different, fundamentally, than what men want.  Society has just told us women such opposing things for so long (you're a virgin or a whore, no middle ground) we're still a little confused by it all.  

Also, we (and by 'we' I mean 'I') want to read tons of amazing books, write a few of my own, practice Wushu everyday, dance, move to a big city in the middle of a lot of wilderness, and soak up a lot of sunlight.  

And be happy.  That too.  :-)

Visor'd

I've decided that Sundays belong to me.  I do work only if I feel like doing it.  Today I did my laundry, and I did all my dishes, and I cleaned my apartment.  

Mostly, however, I worked on my novel.  I've only got two paragraphs of actual writing done, though.  Mostly I've been working on mapping out my characters,  figuring out who they are, and what makes them do what they do.  My main character is, in some ways, very much like me.  I guess because my experiences here inspired quite a bit of the plot.  So in a lot of ways, I know Janie very very well.  She's me.  Not entirely, of course, but there are definitely aspects of me talking through her.  The challenge, now, is to figure out what I don't know about Janie.  

And I guess to decide if what I don't know about her is the stuff I don't know about her, or the stuff I don't know about myself.  

A Mask -- a perpetual natural disguiser of herself,

Concealing her face, concealing her form,

Changes and transformations every hour, every moment,

Falling upon her even when she sleeps.

--Walt Whitman

I Have Woven Moonlight into My Hair

My plans were to have a pretty crazy weekend, but fortunately, it hasn't worked out that way.  I spent a very productive Friday in the library.  Then I put school behind me and played.

I went to the Game Night in the Common Room where a large group of us (Grace, Walter (half-Dutch, half-Indonesian), Chris, Jan Claus, Mark (German), Jot (Taiwanese) and another girl from Taiwan whose name I don't remember) played Apples and Pears (in English it's called Apples to Apples.)  It's a language game where one person puts down an adjective card, and everyone has to decide which noun card in their hand is best described by the adjective.  It's a lot of fun, and hilarious, especially when half the people playing are non-Dutch speakers!  It was also great that we had some non-Westerners there who didn't know a lot of stuff we take for granted.  Like Cinco de Mayo, and Jaques Cousteau.  

The other side of the room, (which consisted of 7 or 8 Belgian girls and Julian (Germany)) were playing some strange drinking game.  Every now and then someone would stand up and sing the Belgian national anthem or something.  They had entirely too much fun, and got entirely too drunk.

Afterwards, Jan Claus (who lives in my building) and Walter (who lives a few blocks away) and I stood on the street and talked about ghosts and scary stories (Lovecraft, Poe, and their ilk.)  Then we went to the chapel here, which is closed off and creepy.  We were planning to go to Jan Claus' corridor, which is apparently haunted, but we ended up on my balcony talking about religion and politics!  :-D  And fantasy novels.  Naturally.  I had planned on going to the Hifi dance party, but the conversation was entirely too interesting.  Either way, I didn't get to sleep until 3am.

I spent today in the library translating with Julia and the people from her group.  When the library closed, Julia and I met Jason at the Bagels and Beans and (after completely confusing the poor waitress) ate bagels, drank coffee, and talked about guerilla warfare in Malaysia, and the usefulness of the Natural Sciences.  Like you do.  :-)

Julia and I then went to dinner with the rest of her European studies group.  Bas (Dutch) cooked an amazing dinner, and we all sat around and talked about...European history.  New people in my life, and a sip or two of red wine.  The Germans got into a rather heated discussion about whether the Rheinland or Bavaria is more important industrially.  And then they argued about the usage of various German words, and language change.  

Now I'm home, and I'm feeling pretty refreshed.  I feel I learned a lot of Egyptian today (the word for stars is akhakh, if you're wondering!)  and managed to connect to people at the same time.  I think I'm going to make this a Saturday ritual.  Library with Julia all day, then coffee and conversation all night.  

By the way, the photo for today was not chosen because I'm sad or introverted or anything.  I just wanted to show off the moonlight in my hair.  I love my grey streak! 

Béla Fleck

This picture should give you a good idea of how my day went.  Stressssss.  I'm struggling so hard core in my classes!  I went to class so proud of myself for having everything done, and then boof, I'm lost, totally completely, and nothing makes sense.  Egyptian is weird.  So I spent my day in the library cramming cramming.  Stress!  And I think I probably looked something like this photo.

Hahahaha.  I crack myself up!  

Julia came over tonight and we had dinner and drank tea and talked.  And she told me something that I knew already, but that hadn't actually sunk in yet.  To wit: If I fail my Egyptian exams... I can take them again!  Whoa.  This is completely normal in Europe.  This has changed my life!  :-)  

Now I look like this photo, and I feel much better!  :-D

So here's my actual, interesting entry.  There are a few things I want to write about (today I made a list as thoughts came into my head, so I wouldn't lose them in my fog of stress.)  

First of all, today was gorgeous, so I walked everywhere I went.

In mastaba class the professor showed us a scene of an elite person being carried in a palanquin by a bunch of servants.  At the front of the group was an overseer whose job was to organize the workers and make sure they were all doing their job correctly.  There's an inscription above, which records the conversation between the overseer and one of the servants.  Sort of like speech bubbles.  The overseer's head is turned to look at the servant and he says something to them.  The servant replies "Turn around and be quiet, I know what I'm doing!"  To me this is hilarious.  When you think of Egyptian scenes you think of very serene people, calmly going through their lives, with inscriptions that describe wildly fascinating and mysterious secrets.  But no, the Egyptians had a sense of humor!  :-)

In other news: I've rediscovered a part of myself that I had almost completely forgotten about!  Namely, Béla Fleck.  Or rather, his music's impact on me.  Béla is a banjo player, but he takes the instrument to new heights.  He plays bluegrass, but he also plays jazz, and his own fusion of these and Eastern music.  I think his most rediculously amazing achievement is his use of the banjo within classical music.  He took a group of classical songs and arranged them for banjo in his album Perpetual Motion.  He's absolutely amazing!  He always plays with the most amazing musicians too.  Jeff Coffin, Vic and Roy Wooten (who together make up the Flecktones, Béla's group), Yo-Yo Ma, Chick Corea, Mark O'Connor, Chris Thile, Edgar Meyer!!  The list goes on and on!  (Like the marimba player on Perpetual Motion who's deaf!!)  

He's also super nice, and has beautiful eyes!  :-)  I went to a New Year's party at his house a few years back, and hung out with him and some of the best musicians EVER.  And they're all really great (especially Jeff Coffin, who has remembered my name every time I've seen him.)

Watch these videos, and learn of Béla Fleck (and the Flecktones):

(Warning: These are all painfully good, but they start out with lots of talking and cheering.  Hold out, it's WORTH IT.)

Big Country

Hoedown

Shanti

Prelude from Bach Violin Partitia #3

Ah Shu Dekio  (The guy singing in this song is a Tuvan Throat Singer called Kongar-ol Ondar. Check him out in Alash Khem)

Ok, I'll stop.  But don't you feel like your world has just gotten a little bigger?  Or smaller?  At least better?  :-)

Ps.  Béla played the banjo on Dave Matthew's Before These Crowded Streets album, and I think he's worked with Phish too.

If I could go back and talk to a 17 year old Me, I think she would be absolutely thrilled to hear she became the sort of person who lives in Europe and listens to Béla Fleck with candles burning in her apartment, and friends stopping by for tea on cold autumn nights.  Yes, I think she would be content with who she will become.  

Lolpod:  André, my buddy from Portugal, knows an amazing amount of American slang, and lots of really strange and obscure idioms.  Sometimes, however, he uses them in a way that is completely, and humorously wrong.  Today we both had a meeting with the professor, and we had about 30 min to kill between class and the meeting.  So André says to me: "So, shall we chase the wild geese around?"  He was trying to use the phrase "wild goose chase" to mean "let's waste some time."  :-)  André rocks!

Horoscope this Week

Ruminate a minute about the people who don't see you for who you really are. Some of them are enemies, but others may be loved ones or allies. Consider the possibility that you have unconsciously bought in to their beliefs about you; that you are at least partially trapped in the habit of acting like the person they think you are. Now visualize what it would be like to free yourself from the images and expectations they have of you. Imagine the exhilaration you'd feel if you answered only to the still, small voice of your own lucid intuition. The coming weeks will be a good time for you to practice this high art. 

www.freewillastrology.com

Ich bin das Update

I know, I've moved the picture.  Changed it.  Take that.  There was a poem I wanted to quote here.  But I've forgotten it.  I don't know if it was Rumi, Alice Walker, Robert Frost or Jimmy Buffett.  Maybe none of these.  I've lost it.

And this is why I've moved my picture, because it's time for a lot of subtle changes in my life.  I've been struggling to keep everything together.  School, and ISN-R and social life.  I've been going at a full on sprint for the past few months, working every minute I could spare (when not eating, sleeping or showering.)  This is beginning to take its toll.  I work so hard, and nothing gets done as well as it needs to, because I simply have too much on my plate.  I've realized it's not a weakness to admit you're doing too much.

So, I've cut back.  I had thought about quitting ISN-R, but the girls happily convinced me to stay on.  I'll just no longer be the secretary and project manager.  The dual role was too much for me.  So, for now I'm just the secretary, and I'm happy with that.  It means I get to stay, and that I can also focus on my studies.

Because my studies have, frankly, been slipping.  Or rather, they've just not been succeeding as much as they should be.  By now I should be one of the best students in every single one of my classes.  I'm good at this, but I'm just not working hard enough to be the best.  I'm not even working hard enough to be above average.  I'm just doing well in all my classes, and that, frankly, isn't good enough.  Because I can do better.  

I made this decision on Monday night (after getting back a very disappointing test grade) and I spent Tuesday in the library studying.  And today I studied every free minute I got.  But only up to a point.  I know I can do better than I have been, but I can no longer run myself into the ground.  I've cut out a lot of work by handing over the project manager position, but this doesn't mean that I have to, or even should continue my 8am to midnight schedule of non-stop work.  That isn't good for my studies or my body!  Not to mention my mind!

So, tonight after a nice meeting, I went to Einstein to be with people.  I ran into Fabio (Italy) and Johann (France) (these were the boys I met when I first moved here.  My oldest friends in Leiden!)  Luca (Italy) from my Wushu classes was there, and Janos showed up too.  I met all sorts of new people, two Stephens and an Eric from the Netherlands, Phillipe (Portugal, Porto, actually!) and San (Vietnam) and a few of Janos' friends.  And Luca's friends.  Friends friends.

So I feel better.  And I hope my blog will get more interesting.  I've been in a sort of fog for the past few weeks.  Really ditzy too, and forgetful.  I've been doing silly things like running into doors, and unlocking my bike just to lock it up again, and completely forgetting which poems I want to post on my blog.  I've just been sort of a mess.  Like scattered, addled.  Yes, addled is the perfect word.

I want to say so much.  And I will.  From now on, just assume I'm spending my days studying.  I'm going to talk about other things.  

I want a quote, and I have no where else to go but Peter Fox.  But it's fitting.

Hier ist die Luft verbraucht das Atmen fällt mir schwer

Bye-bye, ich muss hier raus, die Wände kommen näher.

Die Welt mit Staub bedeckt doch ich will sehen wo's hingeht

Steig auf den Berg aus Dreck weil oben frischer Wind weht.

(It's stuffy here, it's so hard to breathe

Bye-bye, I 've gotta get out of here, the walls are closing in

The world is covered in dust, but I want to see where it goes

Climb the mountain of dirt, because fresh wind is blowing at the top.)

Focusing on What's Important

I completely forgot to mention the lolpod from yesterday. So, Lolpod: Biking home from Wushu, I was really getting in to the wind.  Riding along the Rapenburg, looking for the moon behind the clouds, and suddenly, a balloon flies out of the canal, and crosses the street right in front of my face.  I almost got beaned by a canal balloon!  What?

I spent all of today in the library.  Working hard, and it's all starting to come together.  I'm still a bit lost, but I'm still working.  It rained and rained today.  Hard and cold.  And I watched it, warm and studious from the huge library windows.  Funny how wonderful rain is when you don't have to bike through it.  :-)  

Tai Chi and Wushu were both rather intense tonight.  There's a competition coming up soon.  In Tai Chi everybody worked on a more advanced form, and the beginners just had to follow as best they could.  I'm beginning to completely adore Tai Chi.  Almost as much as Wushu.  Wushu was hard because there weren't as many of us as normal, so the lines moved much much faster, and you had to do more.

Lolpod: A woman on a bike with an umbrella rode past me struggling against the wind.  Her poor umbrella was bent and tattered and almost not strong enough to protect her.  This wasn't funny, and I actually felt rather sorry for the woman because she didn't look too happy.  The funny thing was there was NO wind where I was, just a few meters away on the sidewalk.  None.  My hair, which flies after the tiniest of wind gusts, was unmoving.  It was sort of surreal to be walking along in calmness, and watch a wind blown woman struggling just a few feet away. 

In other news: I bought a book at the library the other day about Archaeology and Architectural History of Leiden!  It has pretty pictures of artifacts, histories (and artifacts) of cool places (like my Burcht!) and, my favorite part, archaeological foundation drawings over maps of the city!  I can't wait to play with my new toy!  I'm going to try to find a few playmates to check this out.  I bet Jan Claus would do it.  He agrees with me that you know nothing about a place until you know its history.

Sometimes I miss Berlin, (and Germany, Germans, and especially speaking German) so much it hurts.  I'm going to live there again someday.  Maybe soon.

Acquainted with the Night

I have been one acquainted with the night.

I have walked out in rain -- and back in rain.

I have outwalked the furthest city light.

I have looked down the saddest city lane.

I have passed by the watchman on his beat

And dropped my eyes, unwilling to explain.

I have stood still and stopped the sound of feet

When far away an interrupted cry

Came over houses from another street,

But not to call me back or good-bye;

And further still at an unearthly height,

O luminary clock against the sky

Proclaimed the time was neither wrong nor right.

I have been one acquainted with the night.

Thanks, Robert Frost, for describing my night much better than I could have.  :-)

Irgendwann werd ich von Glück verfolgt

Rough shot.  1am in the dark.  That was from last night.  Sunday was a good day.  I spent most of the afternoon with Rox (Romania) at the Rijksmuseum van Oudheiden. Which means: Egyptian Stuff.  I only skimmed through the place while my mom was here, so I had forgotten most of it.  There's some really great stuff in this museum.  Like, a small temple, and two funerary chapels!  That's pretty amazing to me, especially since one of the chapels is from a 5th Dynasty mastaba, which is what my mastaba course is all about.  :-)

I haven't hung out with Rox much before.  Ok, only once.  But she's really cool, and she really knows her Egyptian stuff!  Not in the way most people know Egyptian stuff.  She actually knows what she's talking about.  Not just sphinxes and cats and Eye of Ra, pyramid. Go Rox.  I hope to see her sometime soon again to chat some more.  

At night I went to Janos' new apartment for his housewarming party.  I met all sorts of new and interesting people.  Mostly physicists, who I think are awesome.  Notables were Anton  who was from Siberia, but Silvia thought he was from Italy, and didn't believe he was from Russia because he totally looked Italian and didn't have a Russian accent, Michelle who was from Italy, but no one liked that he didn't have an Italian name, so they called him Miccolino.  He wanted to be called Mitch.  There were a couple of Canadians, a Ukrainian, two Finnish girls.  And a Swedish guy who plays the banjo.  Also Julia, Silvia and Jason.  

I spent most of the night talking with Fabian (half-Swiss (German speaking) half-Hungarian) about just about everything.  

Today has been a bit stressful.  I've fallen behind in my classes, I'm afraid, and I have to get a hold on it now or it'll all spiral out of control really fast.  Really fast.  Coptic was a bit rough (though everything went much more smoothly after my coffee!) I had lunch with Lisa, Sonja, and Maut (all Dutch) and we studied a bit of Egyptian.  Then off to the beginning Egyptian.  Then straight to Wushu.  Then back.

I slowed down then, and climbed off my bike and walked home.  Tonight is just so beautiful.  A cool and wet and very windy night.  There's energy in the air, and you would almost swear the wind was trying to tell you something important.  There's one street in town that I always go to when I want to feel warm and safe and at home.  I don't know why, but this street makes me feel these things.  I stood on a bridge over the canal that runs along this street for a long time and listened to what the wind had to say, and watched it dance over the water.  Too beautiful to feel anything but an energized sort of calm.  :-)

At home now, and I'm feeling pretty good.  Mom's on Skype with me, and I'm watching her paint shirts for her kids.  Every year they learn about Native Americans, so mom dyes shirts for them to look like buckskin and paints little "Indian names" on the front.  Then at school they learn about the people themselves, and since they're five, they learn things like how Native Americans invented popcorn by throwing maze on a fire.  So every year mom covers the floor with paper, sits the kids around a popcorn popper with no cover, and lets it pop all over the room.  :-)

For the past few days I've been jamming out to Peter Fox.  If you know him at all (which you probably don't) you know him from Seeed, the Berliner dancehall reggae group I love so much.  (I guess if you know me in real life, I've probably played some Seeed for you at some point!)  He has a few new songs that are awesome, but I've been jamming out on Alles Neu and Haus Am See of late.  

Be prepared to see some quotes from these songs.  Because they rock.  :-)

Blah, so much to say!

So much to say!  :-)  Week.  End.  I spent most of Friday in the NINO library, sitting in the sunny sunny reading room, researching the Amduat and translating, and being a good student.

After a day of studiousness, I went to the Common Room for Game Night.  We played all sorts of good things, like Mastermind and Mafia.  (I got killed every round, except when I was a killer, but the pressure was too great, and I eventually confessed.)

Afterwards, Grace (Suriname), Aiste and her friend Wilma (Lithuanians both), Annaliese (Belgium), Anliel (Belgium), Carlos (Venezuela) and Jan Claus (Dutch-Italian born in Switzerland) and I went to the bar across the street and chatted and played some pool.  Boys against girls, and we might have beaten them too, but Carlos is a shark, and Jan Claus got lucky!  :-)

Saturday found me once again in the library being a good student.  I'm getting really good at being good.  :-)

I came home and worked quite a bit on my novel.  I actually have the entire book mapped out!  It's amazing, how I just suddenly have a perfectly clear idea of everything that has to happen.  The details are still a bit unclear, but still.  I was hit with inspiration a week ago, and now the plot is plotted.  Not bad!  Thanks to whichever Muse graced me with this one!

Saturday night we (Aiste, Wilma, Carlos, Julia, Silvia and Martha (Canada)) went to see I Have a Dream, a ballet put on by the student theater here.  It was a modern piece about the lines between dream and reality.  Right up my alley, right!  I was sort of uninspired by the first act, but the second act was really strong, and there were phenomenal moments and movements throughout.  The dancers were superb.  A very very enjoyable time.  Then we went to the Cafe here at home, and chatted and drank (hot chocolate for me!) on into the night.

Today, however, will have to wait.  I have a housewarming party to attend, and I must get wine first.  Janos is waiting!

Homsick!

Heimweh!

I Finally Understand Her, Only Now She's Changed Her Name

I didn't get to sleep until pretty late, and the professor noticed me yawning quite a bit in class.  

I took an hour for lunch to read The Graveyard Book.  I'm almost done.  I have to say I'm a bit disappointed.  It's a good book, but not as good as Gaiman is capable of.  Then again, I re-read American Gods not too long ago, and that book is a masterpiece.

Spent the rest of the day in the library translating and studying.  I also did a little research into a possible masters thesis.  I read through the Book of the Dead (actually called the Book of Going Forth by Day) and flipped through the Book of That Which is in the Underworld (the Imy-duat, or Amduat.)  I'm looking for mentions of doors and especially of doorkeepers.  

There are some wicked awesome passages where the door posts themselves talk to the dead saying "You can't pass through us unless you know our names" and the dead has to come up with their strange names which are things like "Brass pan for holding sunlight" or something.  (Though when the dead is finally allowed to pass, the floor on the other side of the door says "You can't walk on me!  I don't know the names of your feet!" so you have to tell the floor that your feel are called "Ox of Geb" and "Flower of Hathor."  Just thought you should know.)

I also worked for an hour or so on a story.  I actually started a novel about a year ago, but I only got about 8 pages in and stopped.  I only knew one character, and I knew what happened to her, but there were holes.  Like the other characters, and the events leading up to what happened.  Then I got an idea for another story, and I was writing that one today, and boom, it all came together.  Now I understand what happened to my other character and I think I just might be able to get it to paper!  :-D  

After my Mastaba class my professor and I walked home (we live in the same building) and talked about Egyptian language, and dissecting languages, and learning to read pictures like a language, and especially about making Egyptology relevant.  This man is so wonderfully inspiring!

Now I'm plotting.  I can't decide if I want to write or go to Prooost to play with my friends.... 

Such a tough life!

Enough!

Another day of mind numbing classes, one right after the other.  I didn't even get a chance to eat properly today, much less contemplate the new American president.  Running here and there, fighting to stay awake in class.  Stress and stress and this text to translate and that e-mail to send.

I laid my head down for a few moments to wait for one of the computer lab computers to start up (mercifully, they all take about 10 min to log on) and the thought crossed my exhausted mind : "I'm not dead, but I'm not sure I'm really living."  

Whoa, wait.  Nope.  Enough.

Tonight, instead of going straight home after my meeting like I normally do, I went with Aiste, Cristina, and Xiaofei to the Constitutional Drink of Quintus, one of the huge fraternities here (please think of "fraternity" as more of a Dead Poet's Society type of group rather than an "American"-style frat.)  Normally when I go to these things I just drink a cola, but tonight I stuck to wine.  The girls and I had wonderful conversations about homelessness in America and around the world, while we waited for our names to be called.  Two hours later we decided to just leave, but we got to talk to the new Quintus board anyway.

And even though it was almost midnight, I still didn't go home.  I went to Einstein.  Every Wednesday is International night there, but I haven't been in months since I have class so early on Thursday.  But tonight I just wanted to surround myself with people who would make me laugh.  And I did just that.  Lucas (Germany), Jason, Silvia, Aiste, Janos, Fabio, Kia, Farhad, Soyouen, Ana, Marijn, and on and on.  They were all there.  

Now I've decided that no matter what Wednesday might bring, I should spend at least an hour laughing with my friends at Einstein.  I don't care, I need to be around people more often than just the weekend and in the library.  I need to play a little more!  I think it'll inspire me to work harder, too!

Dew Drops, Death, and Pearls

My day was foggy and cold, and full of meetings.  Hours and hours of meetings.  Details and dramas, alas.  And fog.

Tai Chi cleared it all out of my head, and Wushu brought my body back into focus.  Later, I watched Goldfinger and read The Graveyard Book.

I'm writing a story about a girl who discovers she's a psychopomp and has to help the dead move to the next world.  Inspired by the foggy night and the formless shadows moving through it.

Moment of Zen: Drops of dew hanging from a spider web so that it looked like it was fashioned out of pearls or diamonds.

My Mom is Teh Rock

I forgot to mention that my mom is amazing.  Every time there's an election, she gets the kids in her class to vote on who they think should win.  (George Washington does pretty well each time, considering.  And my personal favorite was the kid who voted for George Tree.  Bush just wasn't good enough!)

This year mom explained to the kids that it's not just as simple as who gets the most votes.  And then she explained the electoral college to them!  I mean, really, who else could teach five year olds about things that most adults can't grasp? My mom totally rocks!

:-D

Being Sick is Boring

Not much to allow today.  I was still sick, so I slept in.  I got out eventually and mailed a bag of Drop (licorice) to my aunt.  I came home and cleaned my un-Sunday-ed room.

I was feeling better so I went to Wushu.  When I got there I was feeling really bad, but Sun (China), one of the advanced kids, talked to me a bit, and said he'd look for a room for me.  So I felt a little better.  I took it easy though.  No jumps or spins.

I suppose that's it.  Hm, being sick is boring.  

Did I mention I bought Neil Gaiman's new book?!  It's called The Graveyard Book, and I know nothing about it except that it's by my favorite author.  Yay.

Lolpod and Moment of Zen (combined action):  A man rode by me on a bike, no hands.  His hands weren't on the handle bars because he was using them to play the harmonica.  :-D

Election Day is Soon: Videos

1: Stereotypes Are Ignorant

2:  DANCE OFF! 

3: Die Donkie Is A Wonderlijke Ding (In Afrikaans)

Cultural Hang Over

Today's photo is a result of too much Amsterdam.  It's not what you think: I'm not that kind of girl.  The only thing I did last night that could be considered irresponsible or immoral was eat at Burger King.  No, I was just there until 5am!

Last night was Amsterdam's museum night.  For the price of one ticket, you got free access to (almost) all of the museums in the city between 7pm and 2am.  So I met with Carlos (Venzuela), Giorgos (Greece), Brandon (California), and Brandon's girlfriend whose name I don't remember (Greece.)

We wanted to go to the Rijksmuseum, but the line was two hours long, so we decided to move on.  (They have the Diamond Skull done by the artist Damien Hirst, which is mega famous.)  We tried to go to the Diamond Museum (no connection) but a large man dressed like a very large fuzzy white cat out front informed us that it wasn't part of the evening.  He did say that you got a free glass of champagne with entrance and that in each glass there was a cubic zirconium, and that four of these stones were actually real diamonds!  We moved on.

I think the "museum night" was really just a good excuse for the people of Amsterdam to hold dance parties in museums.  Everywhere we went was packed with people, glancing at the Van Gogh's and Rembrandt's while they jammed out to the live jazz, or the house DJ.  I can't say I minded (though there were a few times when the music didn't match the photography.)

After dancing with the masters all night, we got some food and attempted to head home.  Easier said than done at 3am apparently.  But we managed to get home eventually, and I was in bed before the sun came up.

Today I went to the main library for the first time.  It's pretty rockin, actually, with a really strange sort of sunburst shape.  Everything is circular and confusing, and I really like it.  I found a really sunny desk overlooking the canal and worked for a few hours.  Then I had coffee with André (Portugal.)  André is in all three of my Egyptian language classes with me, and has one of the strangest senses of humor I have EVER ever experienced.  

And then I got sick.  I think my body just decided it was time for me to slow down.  So I did.  Which means, my Sunday cleaning has been put on hold.  Which is bad.  But, oh well.  I can eat again, so that's a good thing.  Feeling decent is worth dishes in the sink and a dust bunnies in the corner.  :-)

I also wrapped a scarf around my head and took pictures of myself for a while.  Cause I was bored.  They turned out kind of cool, I think. Heh.

<--- The real picture of the day.

 

By the way, Spirit21 has a great entry today about forgiveness and love.  Brilliant.