Alive!

Today's picture is a bit weird.  But I just can't seem to take one that looks any better, so we can all deal.

I woke up with a feeling of dread because I hadn't done my Coptic homework and knew I was behind.  And then I got to class, opened my notebook and realized I had done the homework after all, and moreover had read ahead in the book.  So I was just wrong.  :-)

I read quite a lot of Khalil Gibran today.  His words make me want to fly to pieces and become the breath reciting them.  

I can't quite describe the transformation that has come over me in the past few weeks.  I feel like the little wild kitten of my soul has once more been awakened, and is playing in the tall grasses inside me again, stalking butterflies and climbing trees.  I feel like all the negative emotions, situations, experiences that I have felt, been in, experienced since the age of 12 have been stripped from me, scrubbed off of my skin, evaporated.  I remember them, but they no longer seem to be a part of me.  My pain was once like a tattoo, and now my skin is clean again.  I used to have a hundred names, and now, only my true name is resonating. I feel new, but at the same time, ancient.  Like the child I used to be.  I've become the woman I'm supposed to be.

How can you describe this feeling?!  How can you describe the shattering of what you thought was your heart?  How can you describe the realization that you've been a bird living in a tiny beautiful cage?  Every minute now feels like I'm dancing!

Funny how the smallest thing can change everything.  Funny how one emotion can open up the secrets of how to truly feel emotion.  Funny how quickly time can be erased, and how quickly the mind can become like itself again.  Funny how clear everything seems now that my sacred waters are still.  For once I can see everything reflecting clearly!

Is this cryptic?  I suppose it is.  I think it should be.  It's a mystery I don't quite understand myself.  And I like not understanding.  I like the mystery of this new child that is my ancient self.

Hot like the sun, wet like the rain,

Green like the leaves, Life is a game

Stars in my head, shine Moon shine

Everything's cool and I feel fine

Can you touch (the root that feeds us)

Can you hear (the words that I say)

Can you feel (the music move you)

Can you feel alive today?

Strong like the grass, tall like a tree

Free like the wind, eternally

Nothing to lose, nothing to gain.

Just running wyld, again and again and again

Bumblebees and blossom, only trees and me

Humblebees and blossom, only trees and me...

--Alive! by Omnia