On Stripping Bark From Myself

(for Jane who says trees die from it)

because women are expected to keep silent about
their close escapes I will not keep silent
and if I am destroyed (naked tree!) someone will please
mark the spot where I fall and know I could not live
silent in my own lies
hearing their "how nice she is!"
whose adoration of the retouched image
I so despise

No. I am finished with living
for what my mother believes
for what my father and brother defend
for what my lover elevates
for what my sister, blushing, denies or rushes
to embrace.

I find my own
small person
a standing self
against a world
an equality of wills
I finally understand

Besides:

My struggle was always against
an inner darkness: I carry within myself
the only known keys
to my death-- to unlock life, or close it shut forever
A woman who loves wood grains, the color yellow
and the sun
I am happy to fight
all outside murderers
as I see I must.

--Alice Walker